


Living with the witness

by Dutch_chick674



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: J-Squared, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:30:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dutch_chick674/pseuds/Dutch_chick674
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When police officer Jensen Ackles gets back to his home town he doesn’t expect things to get exciting. But when he meets Jared Padalecki he starts to doubt he will ever lead a normal life. </p><p>When the murders start, he knows that his life isn’t going to be quiet from now on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living with the witness

His first memory of Jared Padalecki, Jensen thinks, is when his momma shoved a tiny squirming baby into his arms. At first Jensen hadn’t understood why he had to come with her to see Mrs. Padalecki, their neighbor, but his mom obviously wanted him to meet her. 

She told him, very seriously that this tiny bundle was very special and that he needed to take care of him the rest of his life. Jensen had frowned down at the boy in his arms, big blue eyes staring up at him and felt a deep sense of pride that his momma would trust him with something as special as this. 

Of course Jensen was only four at the time and his momma wasn’t really serious about the whole thing but it always stuck with Jensen. That his mother didn’t take the task seriously was clear the following year when she divorced his daddy and moved to another town. 

Jensen never saw Jared again, never felt the need to look him up because, seriously, he had been four.

His memory at the age of four, Jensen thinks, wasn’t as good as he thought it was.

This Jared didn’t have blue eyes. Yes, they were blue, but that was because he had been punched a couple of times. His eyes however, were a brownish green. 

Huh? How about that? Jensen thinks as he slaps the cuffs on Jared. It was obvious to Jensen that the tiny bundle was no more. Jared had grown up to be a man, a big one at that. With long brown hair and hazel tip tilted eyes. He was almost 6’5 and towered Jensen, his body big and full of lean muscle. It was exactly the kind of guy Jensen would have been into, if he hadn’t been one of the more known criminals in Bailey TX.

“Come on, man, I didn’t do anything.” Jared protests as Jensen guides him into the police car.

“Tell that to the guy they are taking to the hospital,” Jensen grumbles, pushing Jared’s head down so he can enter the car.

It had been his first night on call in his old home town. He had moved back there a couple of weeks ago after his break up with Tom and just transferred to the police station here. Of course he had already heard about the trouble-making Padalecki kid from his colleagues and everyone else in the small town. 

Of course Jared had an explanation when they questioned him later. The other guy had started it and he didn’t do anything wrong. And then he turned big honest eyes on Jensen, taking Jensen back almost twenty-four years, and he felt some fierce need to protect him. His partner, however, wasn’t buying it. 

“Yeah, you tell us that every time, Padalecki. Change your tune and start talking,” Steve grumbles. 

Jared shifts but doesn’t say anything and ends up in lock-up for the night.

“Yo, Ackles,” Jared shouts from his cell. 

Jensen briefly wonders if Jared remembers him when he realizes that Jared probably heard Steve call him that. 

“Don’t I get something to eat in here?” 

Jensen sighs. Why the fuck was he on babysitting duty anyway?

When Jensen doesn’t react, Jared sighs, “My mom used to know an Ackles once, used to talk on the phone for hours. 

Jensen cringes; he remembers his mom staying in touch with Sherri for almost five years until the friendship just bled dry. He decided he’d better ignore Jared for the rest of the night. It wasn’t like they were really buddies and needed to catch up.

***

“So you know this Padalecki kid,” Chris says and it wasn’t a question.

Jensen looks at his friend and his captain, frowning, wondering what that had to do with anything. 

“His mom and mine used to be best friends,” he states, looking into his beer.

Jensen never expected to ever be back in his home town, it wasn’t like he had family left here anyway. Still after everything that happened in LA Jensen was drawn back to the smallness that a town like Bailey provided. He had put some feelers out with Chris, his childhood buddy, to see if he could get a job.  
Now almost three months later Jensen had been working his new position for over a week and he found it weirdly relaxing being a cop in a small town. It was so much better than the chaos he was used to dealing with back in LA. The only down side was that everyone remembered him as the ‘little Ackles kid’ and acted like they all knew him, including Jared who was clued in on the fact that their moms used to be close and now was trying to milk it for all it was worth. Although, Jensen considers, it wasn’t worth much.

Chris hums into his beer, taking a long pull, “The kid’s a pain in the ass,” he states.

Jensen nods, he knew that already. Even if he didn’t believe the stories, which he did but that doesn’t matter, he had experienced it himself. In the week he had been working on the street he had arrested Jared three times and the kid spent the night in jail twice. Jensen did not want to be associated with someone like that. 

***

It’s a week later when they arrest Jared again. He and Steve are patrolling through the neighborhood, even if Chris said they were too highly ranked for that, when they see Jared fighting with two other men. They arrest him on the spot.

“But I didn’t do anything!’ Jared yells as Jensen shoves him into the car.

Jensen has heard this before, doesn’t care. No matter what Jared says he’s always the one who started this. Steve laughs as Jared hits his head on his way into the car and Jensen curses. Hell, the kid had reason to file a complaint now. Besides, Jensen believes in justice; he hates cops who take matters into their own hands. He isn’t the type of person to rough a criminal up, as they call it. 

“Sorry, man,” he mumbles.

Jared gives him a big smile, “I just lost a tooth because some guy punched it out and you’re sorry because I hit my head? No need to worry, man, I’m hard headed.” 

For one moment Jensen looks at him and sees the guy who he could have been. Easy dimpled smile, eyes light with laughter. If he didn’t make all those wrong decisions in life, if he had chosen a legal profession, Jared might have been a guy who Jensen could really like. They might even be friends. 

Not that Jensen feels sorry for the guy; he made all those wrong decisions on his own, but still. 

Then Steve thumps him on the shoulder, a clear sign that they should get moving, Jensen rolls his eyes and walks to the driver’s side of the car. 

They decide to put Jared in the drunk tank for the night, figuring it was the only way he would stay out of trouble. Jensen stays at the station because he has some reports to file and maybe talk with his boss about some things at the station that he didn’t like. Some cops seem to be on the take and others seem to think that they were judge, jury and executioner; it didn’t fare well with him. Besides, Chris had asked him to look over a couple of files, maybe think about taking on a case. 

There was an active group called ‘the vandals on the street’. They pulled robberies and killed at least one person that they knew of. The robberies were done skillfully, almost professionally. 

The first one had been a little jewelry store. The owners were an elderly couple who hadn’t really believed in alarm systems. It was an easy job as far as Jensen knew. They came in through the roof and left through the front door, like it was nothing. No evidence left behind, no prints, no instruments, nothing. 

After that, the robberies became more difficult. The small Kristal store then the big expensive designer suit store. But their final piece had been the best by far, the bank of the town. 

His detectives were still puzzled about how they had managed to get that one done. There were no signs of break-in. Hell, the alarm didn’t even go off. The bank manager just came in the next morning to find his vault empty except for one body. They assumed that it was one of the robbers, but they had no way of knowing that for sure. 

Jensen frowned; this case might prove to be a challenge. Besides, Jensen missed doing real detective work. 

“So why did you come back to Bailey?” Jensen looks up from his papers to the overnight jail cells. 

He moves a bit closer so he can see Jared laying on the bed, hand folded behind his head looking at the ceiling. His t-shirt had ridden up to reveal a small strip of too thin stomach and Jensen takes his time to look at the guy. His jeans looked old and worn, too old to wear comfortably. Jared was skinny for his size, Jensen hadn’t notice before but he was. 

“Jensen,” Jared says moving to sit up.

“What?” he asks, shaking away the thoughts.

“I asked why you came back to Bailey,” Jared says moving on the bed so he could look at Jensen, Cause, my mom said you left in a hurry. I don’t really remember because I was one, but yeah. She seems to be convinced that you and I should be friends.”

Jensen frowns a bit, moving even closer to the jail cell. It wasn’t a smart thing to do. Usually when an inmate tried to talk to you, you moved away from his vision and never got close in case they tried something. But he welcomed the distraction talking to Jared provided him. Also Jared seemed like an alright guy when he wasn’t in a bar. At least Jensen thought it was possible to have a normal conversation with him. 

“Well yeah, my mom,” he pauses. Usually Jensen would tell a story about how his mom got a better job but he decides to go with the truth, “She left my dad. Then we had to get out of town because he was,” Jensen frowns a little, “not so nice.”

Jared’s head shoots up at that, hazel eyes meeting Jensen’s in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I….eh sorry, it’s none of my business anyway,” Jared says, lying down on the bed again, hands behind his head.

Jensen goes back to his paper work when Jared starts talking again. This time Jensen stays right where he is, but he does listen.

“When I told my mom about the asshole police sergeant who arrested me, she squealed. Really, there was a high pitched noise coming from her that actually scared me a bit.”

Jensen snorts, hearing Jared’s soft laugh.

“Well anyway, she said that you used to watch over me when I was a baby. Stand outside my room whenever you and your mom came to visit, demanding to know who entered my room. Anyway, she told me about your mom and how we used to be neighbors, until you moved anyway. It’s too bad I don’t remember you.”

Jensen is actually glad Jared doesn’t remember him. When he was four he took the world very seriously and the tasks his mom gave him even more. He doesn’t really remember watching over Jared but it sounded like something he would have done. The great protector, even then. Jensen smiles to himself, thinking that he obviously made the right career choice. He turns his attention completely to his paperwork, berating himself for making small talk with a criminal. 

“Hey,” Jared says, softer this time, “are you still there?”

Jensen doesn’t answer, just keeps taking notes on the case.

“It’s just that I hate feeling alone, man.”

Jensen looks up from his place, doesn’t say anything but unconsciously moves into Jared’s line of vision. He doesn’t smile when he hears Jared sigh of relief, really he doesn’t.

***

Jensen is at the station changing out of his jeans and shirt two weeks later when a shooting is called in. He feels the familiar rush of adrenaline he usually got when they received these calls in LA, changing into his uniform quickly before joining the others at the scanner. Then he hear it’s Chris’s voice calling it in and the adrenaline is accompanied by fear. Jensen runs to his car to rush to the scene.

On his way there Chris’s call repeats itself in his head - ‘taking fire, one cop down. Suspect fleeing the scene’.

When he gets to the scene there are two ambulances already and Chris is sitting with a doctor inside one of them. Chris is in half out of his uniform, looking generally pissed off. Jensen lets out a sigh of relief. He knows being a cop is dangerous, but he hates losing Chris to this. He rushes to the other man, wanting to get an update on everything.

“Almost got the fuckers,” Chris grunts the moment Jensen is within earshot.

Jensen raises his eyebrow, noticing the doctor working on Chris’s arm. 

“Just a bullet graze, fuckers,” Chris says when he sees where Jensen is looking.

Jensen nods to the other ambulance, “Who’s that?”

“Murray. God, Mike is going to be so angry,” Chris says, pulling away from the doctor and walking toward Jensen’s car.

Jensen follows him, but stays silent, waiting for Chris to start the story all on his own.

“Called in a break and enter, asked for back up. So I went. When I got here there was a full shoot-out going on with Murray and Padalecki in the middle of it.”

“Jared?” Jensen asks.

As far as he knows Jared wasn’t hanging with the big criminals, of course he wasn’t sure about that. He wondered if Jared was already in lock-up again or if he got away with the others.

“Yeah, they were going to shoot him and probably leave him on the scene when Murray arrived.”

“Wait, they were what?” Jensen asks almost falling over his own feet at this news.

He stops walking forcing Chris to do the same so that they can look at each other and Jensen can give this story his full attention. Chris glares at him with cold blue eyes, obviously wanting to move on

“Yeah, I don’t know, man, but you might wanna take a look at the scene,” Chris says, pushing away the doctor that was catched up with him to finish his work.

Jensen walks towards the lines, seeing blood on the floor, probably Chris’s or Chad’s. He knows Chris calls everybody by their last name, keeps his distance. Jensen was never like that and he feels his stomach turn when he sees the amount of blood. 

Then he looks up at the store. It looks like an exclusive clothing store and there is red and blue spray paint everywhere. This time there is writing too.

‘SNITCH’

Jensen looks at it for a long time before turning to the closest cop, “I want the report on everything that went down here and what you collect in evidence.”

Maybe almost getting caught made them drop the ball somewhere. God, Jensen hoped so.

“So this is my case,” Jensen states, getting in the car where Chris was waiting for him, “Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?” he asks his friend.

Chris shakes his head, “Not yet, maybe later to visit Padalecki. You have to drive me home though, can’t drive. So you’re taking the lead on this one?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says, offhanded, focusing more on the first part of Chris’s sentence. “Jared’s in the hospital?”

“Yeah, they didn’t really get him, just knocked him out or something. He was the first to leave the scene. With police escort, of course.”

Jensen smiles, even if they didn’t get anything from this scene that was something. They had a witness, one that lived to tell the tale. The down side was that it was the criminal himself, so the chances that he talked were slim. He was most likely to get his own revenge, or get killed trying.

***

Jensen is knee deep in the case when Jared is released from the hospital four days later; the kid is refusing to talk. And Chris has given order to have him picked up, obviously thinking the vandals couldn’t kill him when he was in jail. Later that night Chris and Jensen go to a bar to unwind after a busy day. 

“We have a serious problem, Jen,” Chris says as they are sitting down on the bar stool ordering a beer.

Jensen frowns and looks over at Chris guessing what the other man is talking about, “With Padalecki?”

They’re both out of their working clothes, but it was a known cops hang out place so almost everyone knew they were cops. But even cops needed to unwind. And Jensen knows it a place where other people didn’t listen into their conversation.

“Yeah,” Chris shifts so he’s closer to Jensen, “Look, he saw or heard something alright. Something heavy, something to do with the four robberies and the one murder you’re investigating. He’s just,” Chris wipes a hand over his face, “not talking.”

Like Jensen didn’t know this already. Jensen has been working his ass off on this case and Chris damn well knew it. He wants to ask Chris why and how and why the fuck not but he remains silent, lifting his eyebrows in question.

“There are some people after him which makes me suspicious. Also the kid keeps dropping hints that we might have a leak, so I’ve been keeping things on the down low. But Jensen, I trust you. And with the experience you have from the LAPD I think it would be best you lead this investigation.”

Jensen nods, it sounds logical. He also knew that with him being new to the squad he should be suspect Number One for the leak. Chris is only telling him this because they are friends and Chris trusts him. Which might be a stupid thing to do, but Chris is right, Jensen is the best man for this job. Also this is already his case, even before Jared got involved.

“Also I need you to look after Padalecki. Take him to your house and keep him safe.”

Jensen looks up at Chris so fast he fears whiplash, “What the fuck? No way, Chris! No fucking way!”

This was unorthodox, taking a criminal home. On the other hand, Jensen suspected that Chris really wanted this on the down low, so no safe house. Hell, if Jensen would have to guess he didn’t think Jared would even take the safe house.

“But why, Chris? He isn’t any safer with me than he is at his own house and you know it. Besides, it might be a bit suspicious if I suddenly took him in, right?”

Chris nods, “I know, I just can’t think of anything else. Maybe you can use the fact that your moms knew each other?”

“Doubt it would work, everybody knows everybody in this town”

Chris’s mouth tightens and he glares at Jensen, “I trust you because you’re my friend, Jensen. This however, isn’t me suggesting this as your friend. This is me telling you as your supervisor. Shut the fuck up and do it.” With that he walks away.

Jensen sighs, knowing this is a done deal and he is taking Jared home tomorrow. 

***

Jared is quiet; it’s the first thing Jensen noticed. A week has passed by with Jared living with Jensen and the guy has hardly said two words. It’s strange, Jensen thinks, because whenever Jared was in the jail cell he would talk Jensen’s ears off. Of course this time he’s in some serious deep shit. Jensen figures that it might be a first for Jared.

Jensen also notices that Jared doesn’t have many things with him. Jensen doesn’t know if it is because Jared didn’t want to take a lot with him or the fact that he didn’t own a lot. Jensen suspected the latter.

They make Jared wear a detection device around his ankle. It is made so that if he goes too far from Jensen or the house an alarm goes off and they kind find him via GPS. 

He had been given free range from Chris, so he could do whatever he found necessary. Jensen, however, didn’t know what to do yet. He was still busy reading everything that was found at the shooting and Chad’s statement.

Jensen is deep in thought, stirring chili when Jared comes into the kitchen. 

“Man, that smells good,” Jared mumbles, sitting down at the kitchen table. 

Jensen nods, keeping his eyes on the page in his hand. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea, cooking and reading about the case but Jensen was awesome at multi-tasking so he figured he could get away with it.

“What are you reading?”

Jensen is quick in pulling the file away so that Jared can’t see it, “None of your damn business.”

“Oh, police stuff, huh? Great! There go my hopes at making this a slumber party,” Jared says, grinning.

Jensen frowns at him before putting the file away in his safe; he didn’t want those things lying around when Jared was here. Chris didn’t seem to be concerned about the kid but Jensen wasn’t sure yet and he wouldn’t be doing himself any good if the information they had was leaked somewhere. 

“You know,” Jared says stirring the chili before getting some plates from the cupboard, “I really have to get used to seeing you out of your police uniform.”

Jensen frowns looking down on himself, he was wearing a green button down and a pair of old jeans. He didn’t think he looked unusual.

“How did you know where the plates were?” Jensen asks looking back at Jared deciding not to react on his comment about Jensen’s clothes. 

Jared shrugs, “Lived in a lot of different houses with a lot of different people. Plates are almost always in the top cupboard, closest to the sink.” 

Jensen looks at Jared for a long time. He hadn’t taken the time to read Jared’s file, he knew about the break-ins and the fights the kid had been getting into but figured there wasn’t much more to know. He had assumed that Jared lived with his mom his whole life – it seems he was wrong.

He can’t help the startled, “What?”

Jared smiles at him, “I thought for sure you would ask me about the case,” then he continues, ”When my dad died, my mom got arrested and I went from foster home to foster home.”

Jensen frowns, thinking he really should have read the kid’s file. He hated going into a situation unprepared. And right now he felt as if he’d lost all his footing. 

“Your mom got arrested?” he made a mental note to read the Padalecki files as soon as possible. Until then he had to make do with what he had, which was a first-hand account from a very unreliable witness. 

“Well, yeah, she shot my dad. What did you think would happen?” Jared says like it’s nothing, while spooning the chili onto both plates and putting it down on the table. 

Jensen looks at Jared for a while before regaining his composure and sitting down to eat. He doesn’t remember Mr. Padalecki from his childhood memories; it always seemed to be his mom and Mrs. Padalecki. And the way Jared was talking about this, like it was no big deal. Jensen really couldn’t believe Jared had accepted all this. But then again the kid was dealing with the most dangerous criminals so it made sense that he wasn’t at all fazed by this situation. Hell, maybe he’d even killed his fair share of people for all Jensen knows, which, if he had to be honest with himself was nothing. 

“You really figured I would try and ask you about the case? Even after you refused to talk to all the other people, including your own lawyer?” Jensen asks, zooming in on something he knew he could handle – talking about the case a little.

Jared lips turn up a little shifting a little in his seat a little before he responds, “Well, maybe you thought our history mattered? There must be a reason why they’re letting me stay with you?”

“Wasn’t my choice,” Jensen mutters before taking a huge bite of chili , “but you must know something, right? I mean there must be a reason why they tried to kill you?” he asks after he finished swallowing.

Jensen had no illusions about Jared opening up to him. Their history meant nothing, it was a long time ago and neither of them really remembered it. But he was curious, he also was the best interrogator back in LA; he’s thinking that could count for something. 

“Maybe,” Jared answers, “there is a reason why they want me dead, I can tell you that. Not that I would co-operate with you pigs anyway. I’d rather be dead than a snitch, which I reckon means the same thing at the moment, since the moment I talk, they kill me.”

“How do you know that?”

Jared shrugs, “Seen it happen before, Jensen. I’m not stupid, there is a reason I survived this long. Besides, all you cops are on the take, they just have to figure out your prize. If they haven’t already.”

Jensen feels anger rise inside him, he hates it when someone suggests that he might be corrupt. He hates it even more when colleagues only prove these criminals right when they take a bribe. Jensen wasn’t on the take, there was nothing he wanted that he couldn’t get himself and he liked to keep it that way. 

“Then why are you here?” he asks through gritted teeth.

“Officer Kane suggested that I didn’t really have a choice,” Jared says, just as angry.

Jensen looks at him for a moment; it was true Jared was kept here. They made him wear the device but Jensen had thought that it was for his own safety. They could track him just in case the criminals got him. It wasn’t to keep him here. Jensen wasn’t going to tell Jared that just yet though. The kid might not see it yet but he needed the protection right now. If it had to come by force, then so be it.

***

That night Jensen gets a call. He rushes out of bed, cursing and dressing himself, completely forgetting about his house guest until he comes downstairs and Jared is sitting on the couch. He looks at the other man, wondering what he should do about him. He could take Jared with him, not letting him out of his sight but that would mean the other man would get more information about the case and Jensen really didn’t want that. He could leave Jared here, the system was designed so he could do either one but he didn’t know if that was a smart idea – Jared could still get into mischief at the house when Jensen wasn’t there. 

He did trust the system though - if Rosey couldn’t hack it no-one could. But someone could enter his house; Jared was a wanted man after all. And there’d be hell to pay if he got killed on Jensen’s watch.

Jared turns around, smiling at Jensen, “Going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I…eh…got called into the office,” Jensen says, fiddling with his belt. 

He stands there, still undecided about leaving Jared there or taking him along.

“Well, go on, I’ll be good.” Jared says, grinning up at him from the couch.

“I doubt that,” Jensen grumbles but he moves for the door anyway.

“Don’t be late, honey, I’ll be waiting up,” Jared says, snickering as Jensen pulls the door closed behind him. 

Jensen calls Chris the moment he is out of the house, “They found a body, I had to leave Jared. Can someone stand guard?”

Chris was out of his bed and at Jensen’s house in ten minutes.

***

Fifteen minutes later Jensen is staring at the body on top of the display. 

“So why do you think it has something to do with my case?” he asks the detective who has welcomed him.

“Well, they emptied the vault and spray-painted the room with red and blue.”

Jensen cringed, that was the MO of the vandals, alright. They left spray painting at every crime scene. It was enough to tie the cases but not to get a suspect. Jensen could bet that the paint used was the same one they sold at every hardware store in a ten-mile radius. Fuck! He hated when criminals out smarted him. 

“What did they take?”

Jensen didn’t really need to ask the question to know the answer. They hit another jewelry store and probably were smart enough just to take the money just like the first time. Jewels would be too easy to trace. 

“Money, also this guy,” the detective pointed at the dead guy, “He doesn’t work here nor does he live in Bailey. I know almost everybody and he isn’t from around here.”

Jensen nods, “Did he have an ID?” When the detective shakes his head he added, “Run his print, I want to know who the fuck he is and what the hell he was doing here.” 

The man nods and walks away, taking notes of what Jensen just said. 

Jensen sighs, that would make four robberies and two murders, probably more if he didn’t get these guys. He looks around the store, checking for anything out of place, careful not to touch anything. He didn’t have his hopes up and didn’t expect the criminals to suddenly get sloppy. 

When he finished looking around and telling people what he wanted done he figured that he should get home. There was nothing more he could do here. Besides he had the only real lead they had in this case sitting at home. Maybe it was time to push Jared into talking. 

***

“You could’ve gone inside, you know,” Jensen says the moment he sees Chris standing outside his door.

“Nope, I wanted him to think he was alone.”

Jensen nods. Chris wanted to see if Jared would do something if Jensen wasn’t around to stop him. It was a smart move, one Jensen himself might have made if he was put in the same position.

“And?”

“He made a phone call. Other than that, nada.”

“Okay Chris, go home and sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Jensen says, moving to open his door.

Chris stops him, “The crime scene?”

Jensen shrugged, “Another body, no trace. Fucking dead end.”

Chris face tightens, “We’ll get them.”

The house is dark when Jensen walks inside so Jensen is surprised when he finds Jared sitting in the kitchen, staring at the phone. He startles when Jensen comes walking into the room.

“Hey,” Jared says, looking down at his hands. 

Jensen walks to his fridge, grabbing a beer, needing to unwind from what he saw and the frustration he felt before talking to Jared. 

“You’ve been gone for a long time,” Jared says after Jensen finishes his beer.

Jensen nods to the phone, “You’ve called someone?” he asks.

He feels kind of stupid; he hadn’t thought about the phone when he left. Of course that would be a way he could make contact and communicate. Chris had told him Jared had made a call, but there was no way in knowing who he called. Even if Jensen could find out who Jared called it would be too late. He just hoped hat Jared was smart enough to not call the people who tried to kill him.

“Yeah, eh, my mom. Is that okay? I wanted to let her know I wouldn’t visit her this week but I told her I was in safe hands with you. She seems to believe that,” Jared says, making a face that says he obviously doesn’t.

“Okay, Jared, we need to set some ground rules about this. You can’t just call people,” Jensen says, making a mental note to check his phone bill, just in case.

“Maybe you should have thought about that when you left me here alone, Jensen. I’m just a criminal, right? You never know what I might do. I know you can check the phone bill, but I could invite people over, you can never check that.” He says, putting another beer in front of Jensen. 

Jensen frowns at him. He didn’t think the guy would contact any of the other criminals except if he was part of the organization. But why would his life be threatened if he was? Not that Jensen had any proof of that. He just had Chris’s word that Jared knew more and that he should find out what it was. Then he looked at the beer Jared had just put in front of him. Man, did he need that.

“So how did your call go?” Jared asks after Jensen’s been quiet for a while.

“Not telling you.”

Times like this Jensen missed LA. At least there they had a great protection program even if the person didn’t want to be protected. They would take shifts watching the subject so that the others could have a private life. Jensen was never assigned to those projects; he was more the type to investigate. Chris had asked him to do this so Jensen did. But he did find it strange that Jared didn’t go into the program, or that they didn’t have other ways of dealing with him.

“Why didn’t you go into witness protection?” Jensen asks.

“I told you, Jensen, I’m not talking.”

“Then why are you here? Why should I be keeping you safe?” Jensen says, putting yet another empty beer bottle down. He hadn’t realized he’d been drinking that fast.

“I’ve been asking myself that very same question,” Jared whispers.

“You want coffee?” Jared asks after a while.

Jensen shakes his head, “No. I’m gonna have some whiskey and go to bed.”

“You should have some milk,” Jared says, pulling the milk out of the fridge, “I can warm it for you? They say it helps you sleep?”

“You want to knock me out, Jared? Gotta tell you, it’s not gonna work.”

“If I wanted you out I would have let you have the whiskey.”

***

The next morning Jensen wakes to someone rooting around in his kitchen. He slowly gets his gun from the night stand and moves downstairs. He already has his gun out and is in the kitchen by the time he realizes that it’s Jared.

Jared looks up from making breakfast but doesn’t even flinch when he sees Jensen standing there in only his boxers aiming his gun at Jared. He just turns around to put two plates on the table. 

Jensen puts his guns down on the table and sits down, “It’s nice to have a house maid.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” Jared says, smiling, “Oh, that reminds me,” He fidgets a little. “I need…I want to see my mother.”

“Okay, we can go see her. Where does she live?”

Jared fidgets again, “Can’t I go alone?”

Jensen takes a deep breath and sighs, “You know you can’t, Jared.”

For the first time since they’d been thrown into this arrangement Jared looks upset. Jensen feels a bit sorry for the man until he reminds himself why Jared is here anyway.

“Look, okay, can’t we…?” Jared starts and Jensen shakes his head, “I know I can’t go alone. Can’t you send another cop with me?”

Jensen considers it. Then he shakes his head. He’s so stupid for almost falling for that one. The reason Chris put him on this case was because there were corrupt cops at the station. Jared probably planned this so he got one of them to watch over him. 

“Look, you can send the guy who told you to look after me. What was his name?”

“Chris?” Jensen asks wondering how Jared knew that someone was watching over him when Chris didn’t enter his house. 

But Jensen knew that Chris couldn’t be corrupt; Chris put Jensen on this case and told him to watch out for other cops. He could go with Jared to visit his mom. But it left Jensen to wonder, why was Jared so intent on him not meeting his mom? 

“Please?”

Jensen looks at him for a long time, “Why?”

“None of your business,” Jared says, crossing his arms.

Jensen smiles at him, “Dude, you want me to do you a favor?”

Jared’s face falls, but he soon recovers, looking angry.

“Okay, never mind then!” he says, shoving away from the kitchen table.

Jensen looks after him; that was weird. Jared was really calm about everything almost every single time they arrested him. He was calm during this whole ordeal of living with Jensen and criminals being out to get him. But this really seemed to get him worked up. Maybe Jensen could use this to his advantage. 

Jensen flips open his phone, finding Chris in his contacts.

“Kane.”

“Hey Chris, I need a favor.”

Jensen explains about Jared and his mother and that he doesn’t want Jensen to join him on the visit.

“Why doesn’t he want you to come?” Chris asks after Jensen finishes.

“No idea, he’s okay with you though.”

“Strange,” Chris says and Jensen can hear him thinking.

“I was thinking, maybe we can use this to get him to talk? To trust me, maybe?”

“Yeah, could work. So what do you want me to do?” Chris asks.

“Take him, maybe tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there at 10 am before I go to the station,” and with that Chris hangs up.

Jensen puts his phone down, considers going into Jared’s room to tell him he can go see his mom but he doesn’t want to violate Jared’s privacy. If they want the guy to talk they have to re-establish his trust. If not in the police then in Jensen and walking into his room, not respecting his boundaries is not the way to do it. So he just sits back and waits for Jared to come out of his room.

 

***

Jared still hasn’t left his room when Chris comes the next the day. Jensen  
has to admit he has missed Jared’s company throughout the day. It was weird ‘cause the kid hadn’t been at his home for long, but Jensen had gotten used to Jared being in his kitchen. The kid made every meal Jensen ate; it wasn’t until dinner last night that Jensen realized this.

“So where is he?”

“I’ll get him,” Jensen says, walking upstairs towards Jared bedroom.

“Jared! Chris is here to take you to your mom.”

Jared door flies open and Jared looks at him in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah, he’s in the living room. Now go so I can get some work done.”

Jared smiles at him before getting his coat and Chris winks at him when they leave the house.

Jensen looks around the empty house. It’s weird being alone after living together with someone for the better part of a week. He shakes his head, going into his study; he wants to go over the case one more time. 

***

When Chris and Jared come home Jared goes straight to the kitchen, “Did you eat lunch?”

Jensen thinks about this. He didn’t even have breakfast, but he wasn’t going to tell Jared this.

“Man, it was fucking crazy. Did you know his mom is in a mental institution?” Chris hisses the moment Jared his out of earshot. 

Jensen shakes his head; he really needed to read Jared’s file, “Hey Chris, can you give me Jared’s file?”

Chris shakes his head, “Nothing in it but current things, the rest is locked. I also went to look for his mom’s, same there.”

Jensen looks at his friend for a long time, considering this. Why would Jared’s file be locked? Was it true what he said about his mother killing his dad? And if it was then why would his mom be in a mental institution?

“He told me his mom killed his dad,” Jensen tells Chris.

Chris just shrugs, “His mom knew about you though, asked if Jenny was taking good care of him.”

Jensen shakes his head, “God, this case is making me go crazy and the Padalecki family aren’t helping either.”

“I have to go,” Chris says, looking at his watch, “I’ll try and get the Padalecki files unlocked, maybe Judge Magser will see our side on this.”

Jensen shrugs, “Doubt it. Really, Chris, we have nothing that ties Jared to the case.”

“Except the shooting. Trust me, there is more to this,” Chris says, before walking out of the door.

Jensen sighs, rubbing his temple; he was getting a headache. He makes his way to the kitchen. When he gets there Jared is setting the table for lunch.

“Are you okay?” 

“No.”

Jared puts his plate in front of him then walks away. A minute later he comes back with a bottle of aspirin. 

“Looks like you might need this,” he says sheepishly.

Jensen nods, taking two pills out of the bottle, chewing on them instead of downing them with water. It is bitter as fuck but Jensen has learned that they worked faster this way. 

“Dude, that’s bad for your stomach,” Jared says, sitting down.

“I’m already developing an ulcer; I have nothing to lose.” Jensen groans, letting his head fall on the table.

“Is this case really that hard for you?” Jared asks.

When Jensen looks up in question the guy looks like a kicked puppy. 

“I mean, why do you care? It’s not like they hurt you personally.”

“I like to help people, Jared, nothing to it.” Jensen says, shrugging. 

He never quite understood it himself. He just liked to protect the right from the wrong. He liked that he was part of something that made this world a better place to live in. His mom always used to say that he was army material. 

Jared stands up, taking his plate to the sink, “Sure.” 

Then he leaves Jensen sitting there in the kitchen, staring at his sandwich. Jensen wonders what he did wrong here. For a moment there he really thought that Jared was going to open up to him. It was frustrating that Jensen had no clue why he was watching Jared. Why had they tried to kill the other man? Jensen hated to think that there might not be a reason. They might just have picked him up from the street. It looked like they did just that with their other victims. No connections, no similarities whatsoever. He hated when people did something without a motive. Not only because it made them harder to catch, but also because it scared him that a human being could kill at random.

Jensen eats his sandwich, quietly thinking over everything he read today. It was nothing new for him but he had the feeling he was missing something.

“The first guy they killed was a lawyer, wasn’t he?” 

Jensen looks up from his musings to see Jared standing in the kitchen entry.

“How do you know?” Jensen asks, trying to remember if he had left any files outside his safe.

“I know him,” Jared makes a face, “or knew him anyway.”

Jensen nods, slowly wondering where this was going. Jared just stands there, looking at him. 

“How did you know him?” Jensen asks.

“Can’t tell you, but I knew the other victim too. The high school teacher,” After saying that, Jared walks out of the kitchen.

Jensen stands up quickly to follow him, bumping his knee on his way. Cursing, he walks into the living room to find Jared sitting on the couch, looking like a little lost boy.

“Don’t ask me anymore. If I tell you they’ll do a drive-by, not caring who gets killed,” Jared says when Jensen sits down next to him, “or caught,” he adds.

“You all knew each other? Do you know who’s doing this?”

Jared groans, “Please, Jensen.”

Jensen shifts so he can look Jared in the eyes, swallowing slowly, “Why are you telling me this now?”

Jared’s shoulders slump and for one minute all his bravado is gone and again Jensen is taken aback by how innocent he looks, his long hair falling into his face. Jensen wants to stroke it back so that he can look Jared in the eyes. The kid is almost cute like this. 

“You’re nice, and you really seem to care. I think I might be able to trust you,” Jared says so softly that Jensen hardly hears it.

Jensen wants to jump off the couch and cheer or something because it is obvious the other man doesn’t trust easily. Jared turns his head to smile crookedly at him and at that moment Jensen wants to know everything that happened to Jared to make him this way. He wants to know all the things that hurt him and make them go away. 

“It’s okay,” Jensen says, “I won’t ask anymore. I’ll try to work with this lead.”

***

The next week is chaos at Jensen’s house. The case is taking up most of his time, he is trying to find how Jared could have known the other two men but nothing seems to connect them. The rest of his time he spends at the station, because despite everything, Chris wants him to put his hours in. Jensen falls into some kind of routine with Jared. The guy has dinner on the table when Jensen comes home and when he works from home Jared makes sure Jensen eats.

“Oh god,” Jensen moans around his spoonful of soup, his lunch for today, “This is wonderful.”

Jared blushes before sitting down to eat his own lunch. Jensen had tried to get to know Jared the past few days but the guy was still an enigma. But other than giving him a lead on his case Jared would not open up to him. 

“I used to cook a lot at home,” Jared explains.

Jensen smiles as the other guy makes himself as small as possible. It was hard for Jensen to believe this man was the same one he arrested a million times before. Jared seemed quiet, content and without all his bravado, he was actually a good guy or so it seems. He visited his mom every week with Chris because Jensen still wasn’t allowed to come and Jared made sure Jensen’s house was clean. He even changed the bedding once a week. It creeped Jensen out the first time he did it, but now it was nice. 

“Are you going to the station today?” Jared asks.

That was another thing about the other man he couldn’t place. Jared seemed anxious every time Jensen left. He didn’t act guilty so Jensen didn’t suspect there was anything going on but he suspected that Jared hated being alone in his house. Or maybe the fact that Chris stood guard made Jared nervous. 

“No, I don’t think so.”

Jensen didn’t really see a reason; it had been quiet the past few days. It made Jensen nervous though, he kept wondering when the next body would turn up.

“Maybe we could go out?” Jared asks, taking Jensen out of his musings.

“I don’t know, maybe? What were you thinking?”

Jared shrugs, “Well, we’ve had the groceries delivered but it would be nice to go to the store, see what’s on offer.”

Jensen thinks about it. On the one hand the criminals were still out there and Jared was still at risk. But it would be nice to get out for a while, Jared must be feeling cooped up.

“Sure, let me get my car keys.”

***

Jensen decided to go to the mall instead of the nearby grocery store. More people there so there is less of a chance they’d be spotted. Of course there is also the chance that Jared might disappear but Jensen doubts that will happen. He doesn’t know why but he trusts Jared wouldn’t put him in that position which is a stupid thing to do, Jensen knows. But he can’t help himself.

“I was thinking,” Jensen says as he parks the car, “We could maybe eat dinner there too?”

Jared nods slowly. The other man seemed really quiet, unlike all the times Jensen had him in lock-up. 

“That would be nice,” Jared says with a big smile on his face, “Not that I don’t like cooking,” he adds.

Jensen just smiles at him. 

“Yeah, you keep me well fed, that’s for sure. I mean, I think I gained a couple of pounds since you started living with me,” he jokes.

Jared throws his head back and laughs, taking Jensen by surprise at how genuine it sounds. Jensen realizes that he never heard Jared laugh. Sure, the other man had smiled at him but never a full-on laugh like now. Jensen just looks at him and suddenly feels his stomach churn and Jensen is shocked to find himself wanting to see this side of Jared more. 

As they walk to the mall Jensen watches Jared move, smiling at anyone who passes them. And for one moment Jensen lets himself believe that this was just a nice day out with his friend. When he catches himself doing it Jensen scowls at himself. Yes, Jared would have been exactly his type back in LA, but there was a reason he left the town. 

“So, I don’t have much money,” Jared says as they enter the mall.

Jensen raises his eyebrow, “I’m kind of happy about that. I know what you used to do for a living.”

Jared shakes his head, smiling as they walk randomly from one store to the next, “No, you don’t.”

Jensen stops, looking at Jared in question.

“What?” Jared asks, “I know you think I’m a thief but really I’m an accountant, just had a run-in with some really bad luck.”

Jensen laughs, not believing him for a minute.

“No really, then I started working for this night club,” Jared sighs, “went all downhill from there.”

Jensen shakes his head, “Liar, but that’s alright – you don’t have to tell me anything. I’ll pay for whatever we need.” 

“Oh, I think I need this necklace,” Jared says, stopping at the jewelry store they were passing.

“Oh fuck you, no way,” Jensen says, smiling. 

“But seriously, though,” Jared says, “I did make an honest living as a waiter,” then he frowns, “I guess I have a bad temper or something.”

Jensen shrugs, not really knowing what to say to that. Jared seemed to be opening up, about to tell him something. For one small moment Jensen wonders if it has something to do with the case. Then he shakes his head, not knowing what to think but that seems to be all he can think about.

“You know when my mom got arrested, I went from orphanage to orphanage,” Jared says stopping in front of jeans shop looking down at his feet.

“Lots of people do; most come out just fine,” Jensen replies before he can stop himself.

“You’re right, but most of them didn’t watch their mom blow their dad’s brains out because he was possessed,” the words are quiet and they make Jensen turn around in shock.

Jared smiles down at the ground a little, like what he just said doesn’t matter that much. Then Jensen looks around and notices a few people were staring at them. He takes Jared’s arm to lead him off to the side. 

“What? You can’t tell me stuff like that here,” Jensen whispers.

Jared shrugs like it’s no big deal. Jensen is reminded of a psych seminar he took when he was in training. This was a way of coping, making something really important to you seem like no big deal. He looks around, the mall wasn’t really crowded, and no one was paying attention to them. Still he hated doing this here.

“What happened?” he asks softly, sitting down on one of the benches across from a jeans store.

This was probably the only way Jared could tell him, in a public place where it doesn’t seem intimate. Jensen moved a bit closer to the other man, wanting to comfort him but not sure how to. 

“She’s schizophrenic. She thought my dad was possessed and wanted to kill me,” Jared says sitting down next to Jensen. 

Jensen just stares at him. What do you say about that? He wishes he could go back in time and make it not happen. Jensen had to see his own dad beat his mom, it was the worst thing he ever had to witness. He just watched, too young to do anything about it. And no-one got killed in this case. Jared’s mom killed his dad, thought she was protecting her son by doing so. Jensen had no idea how to react to this news. It gives him some insight into Jared though. And he is happy the other man told him before Chris got a chance to get his hands on the file. 

“I…..” Jensen says at loss for words.

“It’s okay, Jen; you don’t have to say anything. There is nothing to say here,” Jared says, nodding.

Jensen sits there with him for a couple of uncomfortable moments until Jared gets up, “Let’s go to the market.”

Jensen walks behind him, taking his time to sort out his thoughts and figure out what to do with this new information about Jared. He decides he should let it go and focus on the groceries.

When they’re done, Jensen has a cart full of stuff he never even thought he needed. 

“I like to cook,” Jared explains. “I’ve been making do with everything in your kitchen but…” Jared shrugs.

Jensen smiles at him, “So now I’m getting a five-star dinner, right?”

Jared looks at him with a small smile. “Well, I might need some kitchen appliances.”

Jensen is about the reply when his phone rings. He takes it out and looks at the screen. Chris! Fuck! He needed to take this call, but it would probably also mean the end of a quiet afternoon. 

“Sorry,” he says to Jared before turning to the side to pick up the phone.

“Jen, there’s been another killing,” Chris says, jumping straight to the case. 

Jensen frowns; he knew it had been too quiet lately. He had been waiting for the other shoe to drop but now that it has he feels disappointed. On some subconscious level he had hoped that it would be over.

“Where?” Jensen asks and Chris gives him an address, “I’ll be right there.”

He’s about to run to his car when he remembers Jared. The other man just stands there, grocery bags in hands. 

“I have to go,” Jensen says, knowing he can’t leave Jared here.

“I’ll take the bus home,” Jared says, nodding while struggling with the bags.

Jensen shakes his head; it’s a bad idea. Also he doesn’t like the idea of Jared struggling with those bags on a bus. He’s the one who took the man out, so he’s going to be the one to take him home. The crime scene wouldn’t take much time; Jensen mostly just gave orders to others. And he knew what he would find, based on how the other crime scenes had been. Jared could wait in the car, it wouldn’t take long.

“No, you can come with me, if you don’t mind sitting in the car?” Jensen asks digging the pocket of his jeans to find his car keys.

Jared nods, and they start heading back to the car.

***

When they had arrived at the crime scene Jensen had slipped into cop mode without any problems. Walking past the body, this one hanging upside down from the ceiling with his throat slit, and skipping over the big puddle of blood, he noted that it seemed they had let him bleed dry. He walked straight up to Chris, asking what the deal was here.

Chris had been in the middle of explaining about the drugs lab in the basement of this seemingly posh restaurant when Jared had come out of the car, claiming to need a bathroom break. He had taken one look at the corpse and the blood and puked all over Jensen’s shoes. 

“I thought criminals were tough,” Chris says, smirking at Jensen who was whipping off his shoes.

“Well, at least we know for sure that he didn’t do this,” Jensen says throwing away the dirty tissues before shrugging at his friend.

He wasn’t concerned about Jared, who was now guarded by a police officer. No, he was worried more about the fact that the killers seemed to be becoming more confident, not to mention more vicious. It had to have taken a long time to let the victim bleed dry. Not to mention a lot of struggling. 

Jensen takes a look around, not a thing out of place. The restaurant looked like it could open at any minute, if it wasn’t for the bled-out corpse in the kitchen.

“So there was a meth lab in the basement?” Jensen asks taking the stairs down and Chris nods.

They probably stole all the money there too, no way of knowing how much they really had taken. No way to trace it. CSI was already taking the scene apart and Jensen really had nothing left to do. 

“Chris?” Jensen asks turning to his friend who had a thoughtful look on his face.

Chris shakes his head, “This case is getting to me,” he confesses.

Jensen nods, he knows the feeling. It had been one victim after another, never leaving anyone alive. Except for Jared. And they couldn’t get a fucking break, they had nothing to investigate and it left them waiting for another crime to be committed.

“I could ask Steve about his contacts, but Chris, you know it won’t be long before the FBI meddles in this,” Jensen says looking around the basement.

There defiantly had been a meth lab here. Other than that Jensen doesn’t see anything out of place. Which was expected since Jensen doesn’t know how it was suppose to look. 

Chris shakes his head. “Only in this town, Jen. I’ve already talked to some FBI agents and they’re sending someone but it remains your investigation.”

Jensen glares at his friend and supervisor. Why hadn’t Chris mentioned this before?

“What the fuck, Chris?” Jensen says as he starts up the stairs again thinking about going back to Jared and driving home.

“They say you know him? Collins or something?” Chris says, ignoring Jensen’s question.

Yeah, Jensen knew ‘Collins, you can call me Misha’. They had worked together before, a cross border killer that time. Jensen would even go so far as to say he liked the guy. But something seemed off here. Back in LA, when he had worked together with the FBI, the bureau had taken over the investigation, letting Jensen do field work. He hated every minute of it. Why weren’t they doing that now though? He asks Chris this as they get to the top of the stairs.

“I told them you had someone on the inside who would talk to no one but you,” Chris says, looking at Jared.

Jensen sighs, “He isn’t talking to anyone, Chris.”

“That’s only a matter of time, Jen,” Chris says, before walking away.

Jensen shakes his head; at least Chris was confident in this. Then he looks at his watch; if they were quick they still could grab some dinner at a restaurant. 

***

Jared is quiet during dinner and Jensen tries talking for both of them. Telling the other man about his job in LA and the reason he wanted to become a cop and Jared just smiles at him.

He is halfway through a story about a homeless guy back in LA when Jared puts a hand on Jensen’s. Jensen feels a blush rise up as he looks to meet Jared’s eyes.

“Take a breath, Jen,” Jared says with a tiny smile, “you don’t have to talk so much.”

“Sorry,” Jensen says lowering his eyes, “I just thought…. I don’t know what I thought.”

“That we were having a good time before I puked all over your shoes,” Jared says with a wry chuckle.

Jensen smiles back a little; it was true. But working on the case again made reality come down hard on Jensen. He needed to focus here, needed to get more information out of Jared. He almost forgot what Jared was today, he almost let himself think that they could be more than just strangers living together. It pained him to realize that he was getting closer to Jared. That he was starting to feel at ease with the other man, more than he ever felt with anyone else. And that made this, going out to dinner, dangerous.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have taken you there,” Jensen says, pulling his hand away. 

They’re back to uncomfortable silence when dinner is over and they walk back to the car. Jensen keeps thinking about how wrong today was but how nice it had felt. If he didn’t watch himself he was going to be in over his head before he knew it.

***

“Why don’t you want me to come with you?” Jensen asks after he called Chris to come pick up Jared.

This happened once a week. Jared would let Jensen know that he wanted to visit his mother and Jensen would call Chris. He did offer to drive Jared there on several occasions but Jared refused every single time. And it made Jensen wonder why. Didn’t Jared trust him enough? Was he afraid Jensen was going to say the wrong thing? Or was he afraid they were getting too close, like Jensen was and that visiting his mom was just too intimate. 

“Come on, Jensen, we’ve been over this. I don’t know how my mom will handle seeing you.”

Jensen shrugs. He hated feeling like Jared didn’t trust him enough but he did. It was stupid that he wanted Jared to trust him, because even if he wanted to fool himself, it had nothing to do with the case. Jensen just wanted to feel close to the kid. Even if he didn’t trust Jared completely himself.

“Just see it like this, now you can have a quiet little meeting with Sparky,” Jared says, small smile on his lips.

Jensen shakes his head. A couple of days ago the FBI came to town, just like Chris had warned. But also like Chris had said it had been in the form of Misha Collins. Jensen thought Misha was an okay guy and he liked the fact that he could still lead this investigation by himself. 

Misha is what they called an unorthodox guy. He didn’t always play by the book and sometimes he did the weirdest things. For one thing, he didn’t even question Jensen about living with the guy who was involved with the case. He just asked Jensen if it was going to cloud his judgment and when Jensen told him that it wasn’t he just nodded and changed the subject. Despite his weird behavior at times, he had a good reputation with all the cops he worked with and he had a nose for finding suspects. Just what Jensen needed.

Jared, however, had taken one look at the guy’s polished badge and started calling him ‘Sparky’. Misha had just laughed and said that as nicknames go that one wasn’t so bad. Jensen had to agree, so Jensen had started calling Misha, ‘Sparky’ too, just not to his face.

“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen says, pulling out his file.

“Oh, come on,” Jared says, sitting next to him and jostling him, “you know you want to play secret agent guy. Flashing your own shiny badge.”

Jensen laughed, tipping his head back. “Yeah, maybe I do.”

***

Misha arrived some time later and Jensen called him to ask if he wanted to look over the case together.

“So they leave a tag at every place they hit,” Misha says, looking at the pictures of the spray paint. 

Jensen nods, taking out the other pictures he has, “That’s how we know they’re the same people.”

“And they tried to shoot Padalecki? That’s his connection to the case?”

Jensen nods again, taking Jared’s statement out, “Yeah, and he told me he knew the other victims.” 

Misha makes a face, his blue eyes scanning the paper. “That isn’t in here.”

“He told me off the record,” Jensen says reluctantly. He knew it was a mistake not going on record with that.

Misha looks at him but doesn’t say anything, going back to reading the reports. When he is done he sits back, looking at Jensen.

“So Jared is basically the only lead you have?”

“We have,” Jensen says. 

Misha smiles at him before nodding, “and he’s living here?”

“Yeah, he’s kind of a childhood friend. Promised his mother I’d keep him safe,” Jensen says, figuring it wasn’t a too big a lie.

Misha puts the files away and looks at Jensen for a long time.

“I’m thinking you’re handling the case just like I would have. Apart from taking Padalecki into my home, that is. But if it’s working I’m not stopping you. Your superior was pretty clear on not wanting us involved in this investigation. And I’m thinking that might be best too. I’ll stay in town as consultant but other than that this show is yours.”

Jensen stares at the other man, open mouthed. Kane had suggested that he had told the FBI something like that but Jensen never expected them to listen. He figured that Misha would just keep following him around like he had the last few days. But apparently that was just to check if he was okay with doing the job on his own.

“Look, Jensen, I haven’t forgotten the time we worked together in LA. You’re a good cop, a good detective. I trust you can find the killer just like we can. And you have the bureau’s facilities at your disposal. Now, how about a beer?”

Jensen gets up on automatic pilot to get the other man a beer. Misha has moved to the couch when he comes back and Jensen sits down beside him.

“And what happened in LA?” Jensen asks, “That’s not an issue?”

Misha shrugs. “We all lose our cool sometimes. It was unfortunate that you did when you were with the son of the mayor, but it wasn’t all on you, Jensen. Even if the mayor wanted it to look that way.” 

Jensen takes a sip of his beer, looking at his clock. It was already late in the afternoon, too late to call in to the office. Misha must be thinking the same if he was drinking. Jared and Chris were taking their time though. 

He hasn’t even finished the thought when the door opens and both men come walking in.

“Hey, sparky,” Jared says, a big smile on his face.

Misha just smiles at him before standing up, declaring it was time for him to go. Jared and Chris watch him go as Jensen finishes his beer. 

“So, anything special?” Chris asks the moment the other man has left. 

Jensen shakes his head. Chris follows him into the kitchen as he goes to get another beer. 

“What did he say?”

Jensen opens his beer, handing Chris one too before leaning against the counter. “He told me I had the bureau at my beck and call but he wouldn’t intervene in the investigation.”

Chris whistles. “That’s something.”

“The hell it is, he said you insisted on it.”

“Not like I have much leverage,” Chris says before walking back to the living room.

Jensen sighs, walking behind him. Jared and Chris sit down with their beers, watching some late show on TV and Jensen goes to pick up his file and put it back together. He looks at every paper he has in his hand, wondering what the hell he could make of this.

Then he thinks of something so he takes out his phone and moves to the kitchen.

“Collins.”

“Hey Misha, this is Jensen. Look, you said you would be willing to help me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Jared told me he knew the victims, just not how. Do you think you could find that out? How they knew each other?”

“Of course, Jen, I’ll get my people on it,” Misha says.

Jensen grins, there had to be a way to find out. Even if the cops in his town couldn’t figure it out, the FBI was bound to. Yeah, this was a good day. For the first time in a long time he felt good about himself by the time he went to bed. He was going to solve this case; he was going to catch these killers.

***

When he wakes up the next morning Jared is in the kitchen, making breakfast and Jensen smiles to himself. It was nice; every morning since Jared had moved in Jensen has woken up to Jared making breakfast. He lazily makes his way out of bed, thinking he might go into the office later.

“Morning, Jared,” he says as he enters the kitchen.

Jared has set the table and was putting pancakes on a plate. It made his place look more like home. Usually Jensen would eat a sandwich or get something at ‘Starbucks’. Somehow this little ritual with Jared calmed him, made him more relaxed.

“Hey, Jensen.”

Jensen sits down, waiting for Jared to do the same before starting to eat.

“So how was your mother yesterday?”

Jared shifts in his seat, not looking at Jensen and Jensen knows something is wrong. Jared looks distressed, eyes on everything but Jensen. Jensen wants to get up out of his chair to comfort the other man and is startled when he realizes his reaction. He fights the urge, however, and settles for taking Jared’s hand in his. 

“She had a bad day, refused to take her medication,” Jared sighs heavily. 

Jensen squeezes his hand, hoping Jared saw it as the small offer of comfort it was. The other man obviously didn’t like talking about this. But Jensen also saw that he needed to share this with someone. 

“She has these days, thinking she is alright because she hasn’t had any incidents. She doesn’t really realize it’s because of the medication. And then she decides to stop. It’s the reason why she’s there in the first place,” Jared says, shaking his head.

Jensen listens to him talking about his mother. It was clear Jared really cared about her. Even if Jared wanted everybody to think he didn’t care about anything, he did. Just like when he helped Jensen when things were leading nowhere on the case and he was feeling down because of it.

“That sucks, Jay,” is all he says, knowing Jared wasn’t looking for pity or fake words of comfort.

Jared smiles at him, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not saying everything’s going to be okay.”

Jensen nods, letting go of Jared’s hands to eat his pancakes.

“So am I going to be seeing more of Sparky?” Jared asks after he’s finished his pancakes.

Jensen smiles, shaking his head, “I don’t think so.”

‘I’m happy, anyone with a badge that clean is unhealthy.”

Jensen smiles, thinking of his own badge that has a couple of oil smears on it, and probably some gunpowder.

***

“Jared!” Jensen yelled from his kitchen.

He wanted to make a sandwich for himself but he was unable to find anything in his own kitchen. Lately Jared did all the cooking and right now, looking through his kitchen, trying to figure out where his stuff was, Jensen realized how much he’d come to rely on the other man.

“Yeah, Jen?” Jared asks when he walks into the kitchen. 

“Where is the mayo?” Jensen asks, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice.

Jared pulls open the fridge, handing Jensen the mayo with a sigh.

“Weren’t you working?” Jared asks as he gets out two plates.

Jensen grumbles. He had been working, but he wasn’t getting anywhere. It was just one dead end after another and he was getting desperate. He was still waiting for Misha to come back with his background checks on the victims. He just couldn’t keep looking at that file, he was driving himself insane. Chris was refusing to put him on the street to patrol until this case was done and Jensen felt trapped.

“Maybe you should let it rest for a little while,” Jared suggests, pushing Jensen to a chair.

Jensen sits down, glaring at Jared as the other man finishes the sandwich that Jensen started.

“And do what? Wait until there is another victim?!”

Jared shakes his head, putting down his knife and setting two plates with sandwiches on the table.

“Jensen, you’ve been working your ass off. I see the lines on your face getting deeper each day. And you’re cranky. Nothing’s new in the case and going over the file again and again won’t change anything,” Jared says, sitting down.

Jensen scowls at him even though he knows Jared is right. He has been going over the file but everything has stayed the same. Jensen was hoping that he would suddenly see something that he overlooked, but he had to be honest with himself. This case was just too hard to crack. 

“Come on, Jen, let’s just have a nice quiet evening, maybe see a movie? We can order some pizza.” 

Jensen nods his head. Maybe some time off would be exactly what he needed. He doubts Chris would mind him slowing things down a bit.

Jared smiles at him before taking a bite out of his sandwich. 

***

Jared seems nervous when they sit down for pizza. Jensen sits back against the couch, watching Jared. The other man was fidgeting with the DVD player and Jensen smiles as he groans when he drops the DVD.

“Are you alright?” Jensen asks smiling.

Jared puts the DVD on and sits down next to Jensen, their thighs rubbing together as he does so. Then he sighs, burying himself deeper into the cushions of the couch.

“Yeah, hungry, you know.”

Jensen nods, shifting uncomfortably, but not moving away from Jared. Jared takes the pizza box on his lap, offering Jensen a slice. He is slumped down and his legs a spread to balance the pizza box. Jared looked absolutely relaxed, the exact opposite of what Jensen was feeling.

“And you? Are you okay?” Jared asks before taking a bite of his pizza.

Jensen tries to smile, starting the DVD. “Yeah.”

He leans back against the couch. He needed the time off. And Jared may prove to be good company. 

“I like this movie,” Jared says when he finished his pizza.

Jensen frowns. “The Holiday?”

Jared winks at him, grinning. “What’s not to like?”

“Jack Black?” Jensen asks, even if it wasn’t really a question in his opinion. 

“You don’t like Jack Black?” Jared asks, sounding shocked. 

“Dude, that guy is not funny,” Jensen says, looking at the screen where Jude Law is hitting on a drunken Cameron Diaz.

Jensen didn’t even know he owned this movie, let alone voluntarily watched it. But seeing Kate Winslet whine over some guy? Not his idea of a fun time. Jared, however, seemed to like it. He swooned every time Jude Law was on or elbowed him every time Jack Black did something that was supposed to be funny.

“What is this movie about anyway?” Jensen asks, annoyed after the millionth poke.

Jared smiles. “Finding love when you least expect it,” he says, winking at Jensen.

Jensen thinks he might be flirting, but he isn’t sure. It would be crazy; what criminal flirts with a cop? Okay, maybe it isn’t that crazy. They do it all the time to get out of something, but that’s girls mostly. Jared is taking quite a risk flirting with a guy. If he’s even flirting to begin with. Jensen shifts a little farther away from him, just in case.

“Oh crap, don’t tell me it’s that kind of lame movie.”

“Hey! I love this movie, it’s my all-time happy place,” Jared says, sounding offended.

“Your happy place? You mean you dream of living happily ever after?”Jensen asks.

He could remember when he thought he would have his own happily ever after. He knows better now though. And with the way he grew up, Jared should too. Jensen shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts, now was not the time to be thinking about that.

“Yeah. I mean, maybe not with a girl, but with a hot guy like Jude Law?” Jared asks, closing the gap Jensen just created.

“So you want to be like Cameron Diaz, the girl who doesn’t cry. Is it true, Jared, you can’t cry?” Jensen asks, making fun of him.

Jared playfully punches him on the shoulder. “Seriously, you don’t dream of a happy ending like that?”

Jensen thinks about it. After what happened in LA? He wasn’t sure he really believed in love anymore. Maybe that made him jaded, but it also made him smart. He knows falling in love isn’t a choice, but if he could he would damn well avoid it. 

Jared jostles him and Jensen pushes back, breath catching when he feels the hard planes of Jared’s muscles. Jared pushes further, leaning over Jensen in a bold move. 

“Oh, Mr Strong Policeman doesn’t like a little romance?”

Jensen swallows, looking up into Jared’s hazel eyes. The other man’s body feels heavy on top of him and Jensen feels his heartbeat quicken. He couldn’t deny that Jared was an attractive man, but he couldn’t let himself think of the possibilities. Couldn’t afford to think of what Jared could do to him with that lean body. It would cost him his job, for one thing. And maybe even his heart.

“No I….” his reply is swallowed by Jared leaning down and kissing him. 

Jensen freezes for one moment before pushing Jared off him slowly, almost reluctantly. He should use his body to move Jared further away from him but he finds himself staring into Jared’s hazel eyes. Well, that was unexpected.

“Jared, what?” he starts to ask, unconsciously running a hand up and down Jared’s arm.

Jared sits back, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I…” he gets up, storming out of the room before he even finishes his sentence. 

Jensen stared after him, wondering what the hell had just happened.

***

The next morning Jensen rushes to the station so that he didn’t have to see Jared. It isn’t until he arrives at the station and sees Chris sitting behind his desk that he remembers that he hadn’t sent anyone to look after Jared. When Chris sees him the other man raises his eyebrows.

“Decided to come in and do some work?” Chris asks.

Jensen sighs; he could really use a friend right now. He wanted to talk to Chris about what happened between him and Jared and how it confuses him. But Chris was also his supervisor and it could really cause him trouble. Jensen doesn’t know what to do; he’s never been in a situation like this before. 

“Something wrong, Jen?” Chris asks after a while.

Jensen nods, still conflicted if he should tell Chris or not. 

“Come on, let’s get a drink,” Chris says, grabbing his coat before pulling Jensen out of the station.

Chris takes him to a bar on the edge of the town, one where Jensen has never been before. When Jensen asks him about it Chris explains that he didn’t want to run into other cops.

“I take it your problem is personal,” Chris asks and when Jensen nods he adds, “Okay, so forget I’m your boss and tell me what is wrong.”

Jensen fidgets with the beer that is put in front of him and thinks. If he told Chris this it would put a dent in his integrity. But if he was honest with himself, letting Jared kiss him had already done that. And whatever was building between him and the other man was clouding his judgment. Hell, he’d even stopped thinking of Jared as a criminal.

“It has to do with the case,” Jensen starts.

Chris nods, “I figured as much.”

“Living with Jared is getting to me. I mean, we’ve been playing house and been making nice. And in the beginning it was all about getting information out of him but, Chris,” Jensen takes a deep breath, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Chris frowns at him. “Why not? He gave you that lead before, right?”

Jensen nods. That he did but Jensen wasn’t even sure if that was a real lead anymore. It could have been a way to mislead him. Hell, the kiss might have been part of a bigger plan to get Jensen off the case, or to distract him.

“We’ve been getting closer,” Jensen states, looking into his beer.

“So that was our intention, right? You getting close to him so he would tell you everything?” Chris asks.

“I have the feeling I’m becoming too attached, Chris. Yesterday he kissed me!”

Chris looks at him for a long time before replying. “He kissed you?”

Jensen nods.

“And what did you do?

“Pushed him away.”

“Well, I don’t see the problem. Okay, so maybe he likes you a little bit too much, you could use it to your advantage.”

“I didn’t want to push him away, Chris,” Jensen says, raising his voice a little bit before remembering he didn’t want anyone to hear this, “I liked it! Hell, he’s a hot guy, you saw that.”

“So,” Chris says shrugging, “as long as you keep your eyes on the prize, I don’t see the problem.”

Jensen laughs a little bit, “That’s my friend talking, isn’t it?”

“If it wasn’t you’d be on forced leave right now,” Chris answers gloomily.

Jensen shakes his head, smiling a bit, “I don’t know if I can keep my head on straight if I start something with Jared.”

“Well then, don’t start anything. You’re a great police officer and I want you to finish this case. And I know you can be professional when it comes down to it. But if you want off the case,” Chris shrugs again, “then the case goes to the FBI.”

“But then Jared would go behind bars one way or the other,” Jensen says.

Chris shrugs again taking a sip from his beer, “Your choice.”

***

When Jensen goes home later that afternoon Misha Collins is waiting for him by his car. Jensen grimaces when he sees the other man but walks toward him anyway. 

“So your lead is going nowhere,” Misha says the moment Jensen is within hearing range. 

Jensen looks at the other man in question then sighs; he forgot he asked Misha to check up on that. His heart sinks, even if he didn’t really expect Misha to find anything it still sucked to hear that it wasn’t the break he was hoping for. 

“So I’m back at square one?” he asks, looking the other man in the eyes.

“We are,” Misha says, nodding while flipping through his file, “Well,” he says, “maybe.”

Jensen looks at the other man expectantly; he could use some good news right now. 

“Well, the lead is going nowhere really, but we did find out they lived in the same neighborhood at one point.”

Jensen sighs, that wasn’t good news. This town was so small – everybody lived in the same neighborhood at one point. 

“I know, it doesn’t seem like much but it’s the only thing they seem to have in common. Has that Padalecki kid told you anything new in the meantime?” Misha asks, following Jensen as he walks over to the driver’s side of his car.

Jensen groans, thinking about Jared. If Misha knew what was going on between them or rather not going on – the sexual tension was enough – Jensen was sure Misha would step in and take the case over in no time. 

“Not really, I have no idea what to do next. It feels like we’re waiting for another body to be found,” he answers.

Misha nods, “I know, but you’re trying, I’m trying. There is no way they can outsmart us both,” he says with a tiny smile and Jensen can’t help but smile back. 

Misha was right. Also Jensen likes hanging out with the guy more than he expected to. He contemplates asking Misha to come home with him, maybe go over the file again? Anything to avoid being alone with Jared. Before Jensen can ask him Misha is saying good-bye.

“I’ll come by tomorrow,” he promises, “We’ll look things over one more time before putting it all away. You can’t keep staring at it, you know, you’ll go blind.”

Jensen nods slowly, staring out of his window at Misha’s retreating back. Jensen groans softly, knowing that he needs to go home and face Jared. 

***

When he gets home the house is quiet and there is a plate of spaghetti on the kitchen table, still hot. Jensen sits down, he is hungry and it was sweet of Jared to leave him dinner. He figures Jared also wanted to avoid awkwardness and retreated to his room. They couldn’t continue this; Jensen needed to talk to the man sometime this week. Jensen eats his dinner thinking this over, figuring that he needs to talk to Jared before things get out of hand. When he finishes dinner he slowly makes his way upstairs.

Jared is on his bed, reading a book when Jensen enters his room. The other man doesn’t even look up, just shifts a little on the bed when Jensen closes the door. 

“So I’ve been thinking,” Jensen says when he is standing in the middle of the room.

Jared sighs, closing his book, looking at Jensen with big hazel eyes. Jensen swallows, feeling heat pool in his stomach. Jared is attractive, he never denied this, but seeing the other man laying down on a bed looking up at him made Jensen feel arousal run though his veins. Why hadn’t it troubled him before? He had no problems living with Jared before the other man kissed him, made him think there was a possibility.

“That kiss was a mistake,” Jensen states, figuring that telling the truth was the best way to go.

Jared’s eyebrows go up in surprise, “For you, maybe” he answers, moving so that he is sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Jensen looks around, he has been in this room before, of course – it is his guest room. It surprised him how little it has changed. Usually when he has someone over the guest room changes, shows some of the person’s personality. Take Dave, his friend from LA. When he stays over, the guest room changes into one chaotic mess, clothes lying everywhere. And when his friend, Dani decides she needs a place to sleep there is always a plant or some flowers somewhere in the room. So Jensen finds it strange that, while Jared is staying here longer than any of the other two ever have, he has no personal items lying around at all. 

Jared shifts again and Jensen remembers that this was not what he came here for.

“What do you mean - a mistake for me? It was a mistake overall.”

Jared lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head, “No, it wasn’t. It was a great kiss until you remembered that wasn’t what you were supposed to do.”

Jared stands up, walking towards Jensen, using his larger body to crowd the other man against the wall. Jensen looks up at Jared, feeling his body react to the other man’s closeness. 

“I know you’re attracted to me, Jensen,” Jared whispers, angling Jensen’s head so he can place a small kiss on his neck.

“That might be,” Jensen says, trying to move away from the seduction that was Jared Padalecki, “but I’m not going to act on it, Jared.”

Jared smiles at him, “You sure about that?” he asks, pushing closer.

And the truth is – no, Jensen wasn’t too sure about that. The past few days Jared had proven to be a nice guy and it had become more difficult for Jensen to keep a professional distance. Especially now, when Jared was pushing against his body, softly kissing his neck. 

“Jared,” Jensen hears how pathetic his voice sounds as he tries to warn the other man.

Jared lets out a small breath again, his head moving so that he is looking into Jensen’s eyes. Jensen sees his own desire reflected in hazel eyes as Jared moves closer. Jensen feels Jared push his hips against Jensen’s, the hard line of his cock against Jensen’s thigh. Jensen closes his eyes and concentrates on breathing. He wasn’t going to admit it out loud but it turned him on when another man dominated him and Jared was doing just that.

When Jared tries to move Jensen’s face again Jensen complies and he feels soft lips against his own in a gentle kiss.

“Tell me you don’t want this,” Jared says against his lips.

Jensen groans, fisting Jared’s hair, pulling Jared closer so he can taste those lips again. Jared moans softly when Jensen opens his mouth for him, letting Jared’s tongue explore his mouth. When it’s clear Jared is going to keep kissing him Jensen lets go of his hair, hands finding the other man’s hips. Jensen pulls the other man closer in a rhythm, cocks rubbing against each other through their jeans. 

“Jared,” Jensen whispers. 

He doesn’t want to break this spell. He doesn’t want to think about the outside world, doesn’t want to think about the consequences. He leans his head back against the wall, giving up total control to Jared. Jared was sucking his neck and Jensen groans in frustration, he wants more. He wants to lose clothes, wants Jared to claim him. 

Jared curses under his breath before pulling away. This time Jensen does whimper. 

“Please Jensen, I want you to really want this,” he says, “Without lust clouding your judgment,” he adds before moving away.

Jensen blinks at him, slowly getting control over himself. He looks at Jared who is standing there, a flush on his face, hard cock clear in his jeans. And Jensen swallows, he wants that. He wants that so badly but he can’t say yes to this. Can’t risk everything he’s worked for. He rushes out of the room before he does something that he will regret, like begging Jared to take him.

***

Jensen spends most of the night tossing and turning in his bed, trying not to think about Jared and failing. The other man is slowly getting under his skin; Jensen doesn’t even know how or when that happened. It seemed that his first impression of Jared had been wrong. Jensen’s instincts were telling him that Jared wasn’t a bad guy but Jensen wasn’t so sure about that. He had been wrong before. 

He sighs, turning over yet again.

His bedroom door creaks when it opens and Jared comes shuffling into his room.

“Jensen, are you awake?” the other man whispers.

Jensen contemplates pretending he’s asleep, but decides against it so he sits up. Jared sighs in relief and moves to sit down next to Jensen.

“I can’t sleep,” he confesses and immediately after that he feels stupid.

“Me neither,” Jared says. 

They sit in silence for a while. Jensen underneath his blanket, pillows propped up at his back. Jared on the edge of the bed, afraid of looking in Jensen’s direction. Jensen swallows, looking at Jared. The other man had obviously just gotten out of bed, wearing just a pair of sweatpants. Jensen has never been more tempted in his life to just throw his morals out of the window. 

“I’m sorry about this afternoon,” Jared says, shifting uncomfortably. 

Jensen sighs, “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was likely to happen, two gay guys living like this together. Something was bound to happen.”

It sounded like a lame excuse even to Jensen’s ears. But he didn’t know how to react to this; he had never felt this way before. He knew it was partly because it felt wrong on some level. But he couldn’t deny the attraction that was growing between him and Jared.

“That’s bullshit, Jensen and you know it,” Jared says, turning towards Jensen.

Jensen shifts; arguing like this feels weirdly intimate. Like Jared could crawl into his bed any moment now and they would make up with hot sex. Jensen shakes his head, now was not the time to be thinking about this.

“Why did you come here, Jared? “ Jensen sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, “and why wait till I went to bed?” 

Jared flushes but doesn’t look away from Jensen. His hands are mindlessly playing with Jensen’s blanket, which makes Jensen hold on to them just that little bit tighter. 

“It wasn’t by choice,’ Jared says, “I was coming up with ways to talk to you when you went to bed. You’ve been avoiding me.”

Jensen shrugs. It’s true that he has been avoiding Jared, but he hadn’t left the house so if Jared wanted to talk to him he could have. Jensen might have been a little disappointed when the other man didn’t even try.

“Jensen,” Jared says touching his leg, “I –I think I’m falling for you.”

Jensen shifts in his bed, he never expected Jared to just come out and say it. Hell, he never thought Jared would feel like this. Maybe he is trying to ‘buy’ his way out by seducing Jensen, but that would be stupid. Jared wasn’t even a suspect. 

“Come on, Jen, say something. This is hard enough for me as it is,” Jared begs, squeezing Jensen’s legs gently.

Jensen looks at the other man; he looks innocent, almost scared. Jared had to be a damn good actor, because Jensen is starting to believe him. Is starting to believe that Jared’s intentions are pure and that he means what he’s saying. However, he can’t risk that Jared is lying. Jensen shakes his head, berating himself. This could only lead to bad things.

“No, we are not doing this,” Jensen says getting out of his bed in a hurry, hearing Jared’s breath catch when he sees him standing there in nothing more than boxers and a t-shirt.

Both of them seem to be frozen in place. Jensen stands on the other side of his bed, breathing harshly. Jared twists to look at Jensen, eyes wide with shock and pain. Jensen almost wants to takes his words back at the look in Jared’s eyes but he can’t. There is so much at risk, people are getting killed. Maybe when the investigation was done, then maybe he could date Jared, but now it was not an option. Jensen didn’t trust him enough, yet.

Jensen is about to kick Jared out of his room when Jared moves. Instead of walking back to the door he walks towards Jensen. Jensen swallows as Jared grabs his face and kisses him for the second time that day. Jared doesn’t crowd him, doesn’t even really hold him in place, just pushes his lips softly against Jensen’s. And Jensen feels his resolve crumble with every soft shift of Jared’s lips. Jared sighs into the kiss when Jensen sweeps out his tongue. Then he pulls back.

“So it’s because of the case,” Jared concludes, nodding, “we can work around that.” He says, smiling, before walking out of Jensen’s room.

Jensen stands there dazed, bringing a hand to his lips. How does Jared manage to do that to him every single time?

***

Jensen is woken by his phone the next morning. He shifts around, looking for the thing before finding it. He hardly slept that night, so he wasn’t too happy seeing Chris was calling him.

“What?” he grumbles into the phone. 

“Jen, I’m at the pawnshop over at Richardson Road, you might wanna get here,” Chris says sounding serious.

“What?” Jensen asks getting out of bed, “What’s up?”

“We found another body.”

Jensen is off the phone and dressed before Chris even has a chance to say goodbye. And Jensen almost expects Chris to still be standing with his phone in his hand when he arrives at the crime scene after how fast he had been driving.

The place is crowded with cops when Jensen comes walking in. He sees the body right away and he understands why this was called in so fast. 

The corpse is hanging in front of the store window, arms spread out like Jesus on the crucifix. Jensen winces when he sees it up close. They seem to have used real nails to get him hanging from the wall. There is also a piece of glass sticking out of the man’s side, blood running down the wall, pooling on the floor 

“Nasty way to go,” the coroner says, standing next to Jensen.

Jensen looks at the man who was studying the corpse, “It seems he was alive when they did that,” the man says, pointing to the nails on the feet. “Rigor mortis indicates that he died in this position,” the coroner says, pointing at the spots on the skin, “My best guess is from a stab wound.” He adds, before walking away again. 

Jensen looks back at the corpse; they were getting more and more violent. It was just like Jensen feared; he might need a profiler on this case. This was clearly done by a crazy person, there was no way normal reasoning was going to get this person. Jensen thinks about this, deciding he should ask Chris’s opinion.

“Hey,” he asks one of the CSI working on the scene, “you know were Kane is?”

The man shakes his head and Jensen figures that maybe the other man left already. This wasn’t really his case after all, which made him wonder why Chris was here in the first place. 

“Ackles,” the coroner he talked to before stops him, “I think I might have something.”

Jensen rushes to the man’s side to see what he was talking about. There were tiny flakes underneath the victim’s fingernails. Jensen looks closer, it couldn’t be.

“Skin fragments, he scratched them,” the man says, smiling softly at Jensen.

“But they cleaned all the others?” Jensen questions.

“Maybe they didn’t have time for that this time? Count your blessings, son. I’m going to send this to the lab.”

Jensen stands there, looking at the corpse; he finally had the break he was looking for! He stands there, refraining from rushing the people investigating. He was finally getting somewhere with this case. Okay, so maybe skin fragments weren’t a lot to go on but at least it was something. 

***

Jensen rushes to the station the moment the crime scene is wrapped up. Misha is waiting at his desks when he arrives.

“You seem happy,” he remarks and Jensen nods.

“Sparky,” Jensen says, smiling, “Finally got a break, what are you doing here?”

Misha shrugs, playing with some files on Jensen’s desk, “Another body, right? Wanted to see what was up.”

Jensen sits down, gesturing to Misha that he should do the same, “Then why didn’t you come to the crime scene?” 

Misha shrugs, “Didn’t want to intrude. You know how CSI gets with FBI on the scene.”

Jensen nods; he did know and he was grateful that the other man didn’t meddle too much in his investigation. Misha seemed like a good guy and Jensen was happy that he was the FBI agent put on the case. 

“So what’s new?” 

Jensen tells Misha about the crime scene, the corpse and, of course, about the skin fragments they found underneath the victim’s fingernails. Misha actually whoops when he hears that. 

“We need to go out for a drink to celebrate!” Misha says, pulling Jensen’s arm.

Jensen looks at his desk; he still needs to fill out the paper work from the crime scene. Then he shrugs, that could wait. 

“Okay, but let’s go by my house to pick Jared up,” he says when they head out. 

***

They do and that’s how Jensen ends up sitting with Jared and Misha at a bar, gradually getting drunk. The two men seem to have developed a love/hate relationship. Jensen can tell that Misha doesn’t really trust Jared. And Jared seems to just dislike Misha but Jensen thinks it has something to do with the fact that the other man is a cop. Jensen leans against the counter, listening to the two men discuss basketball. 

“No, what I’m trying to say is,” Misha says with a tiny slur in his voice, “Why become a criminal? You could have been a basketball player.”

Jared laughs, throwing his head back, “Yeah, stupid. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Jensen watches Jared’s long neck, wanting to lick the sweat that he sees dripping down the lines of his throat. Jared seems more relaxed than Jensen had seen him in a long time. He didn’t even ask questions when Misha and Jensen showed up to take him to a bar. 

“But listen, Sparky,” Jared says, leaning closer to Misha, “I’m not really a criminal, but don’t tell him that,” he says, pointing to Jensen.

Jensen laughs as does Misha. Jensen likes this Jared, the relaxed one who was making jokes with Misha. It almost felt like being out with friends. When Jensen slips from the bar stool a couple of seconds later Misha gives him a look.

“So what are you then?” Misha asks Jared.

“Totally in love with Jensen,” Jared answers.

Jensen looks up from wiping beer from the front of his shirt to look at Jared. Jared isn’t laughing; he is looking rather seriously at Misha who seems to be lost for words. 

“Woah, you are so drunk,” Jensen says, slapping Jared on the back.

Jared looks away, shaking his head. And if they were alone, Jensen would have some questions but right now Misha is with them and the other man doesn’t need to know about the fucked –up game Jared and Jensen were playing with each other. 

“I confessed my love to a donkey once when I was drunk,” Misha says, handing both of them another beer.

Both men look at Misha in amazement.

“What? I was in Spain on a job and they have this stuff called ouzo. Trust me, I was happy I never remembered that night.”

Misha looks almost adorably confused when Jared and Jensen start laughing. Then he goes to tell a story about a Russian woman in Siberia and at the end of it Jensen almost doubles over laughing.

“I mean she is a woman now! With boobs and everything,” Misha says, sounding offended.

“I think it’s time we went home, guys,” Jared says, after he saves Jensen from falling off his stool. 

Jensen leans into Jared’s warm body, closing his eyes. Going home seemed like a great idea, especially if he was going home with Jared. So he doesn’t object too much when they take away his beer and lead him to the exit.

“Are you driving home?” Misha asks and Jensen thinks about this.

He was in no state to drive home, neither were Jared nor Misha; maybe he should call a cab. The moment he thinks it he hears Jared rattling off the address of the bar into the phone. Obviously the other man was way ahead of him. Misha smiles at both of them before pulling Jensen aside.

“He seems like a good guy, Jen,” Misha tells him, swaying a bit. 

Jensen smiles and nods, at least he wasn’t the only one thinking this. He’s happy that he doesn’t need to defend Jared to Misha. 

“Come on, Jen, cab’s here,” Jared says, joining them before Jensen has a chance to reply.

They offer Misha a ride but the other man declines, saying that his hotel is in walking distance. So they both get in the cab to take them home. 

The cab ride is quiet and Jensen spends the time with his eyes closed. He hadn’t realized how drunk he was until they got outside and the cold air hit him. Jared doesn’t seem to be in a much better state, leaning against the other side of the cab with his eyes closed. 

When they get home Jared helps Jensen into the house, and Jensen doesn’t remember Jared taking his key. He is in his bed before he realizes what is happening. Jared smiles down at him before putting a glass of water next to his head. Jensen wants to pull him into his bed, wants to feel the other man’s body against his own. 

“Sleep well,” Jared whispers before moving away.

Jensen groans, sitting up to stop him, grabbing Jared close and kissing him frantically. Jared groans against his lips as he slowly descends on Jensen’s bed. Jensen moans softly when he feels Jared’s body against his own and he can’t remember why he didn’t do this before. 

“Jensen,” Jared says, pushing him away softly.

Jensen blinks his eyes open, disappointingly, “What?” he asks, confused. 

“We can’t, you’re drunk.”

Jensen smiles, fingering the buttons on Jared’s shirt, “So are you.”

Jared nods slowly, shifting so that he is lying next to Jensen, “Let’s sleep it off.” 

Jensen nods, slowly snuggling close to Jared, realizing just how tired he is and is asleep within minutes.

***

When Jensen wakes up the next morning there is a big body wrapped around his and he has a splitting headache. The first thing he thinks is that he shouldn’t listen to Tom anymore, the kid might still be able to party but Jensen has his job to think of. Then Jensen remembers there is no more Tom in his life and when he turns around he discovers that the body wrapped around him is Jared. 

“Jared?” he questions softly.

Jared shifts, stretching lazily and Jensen can’t help but look at his body. Jared was still wearing the clothes he wore last night but Jensen can see muscles flexing underneath the layers. He averts his eyes, not wanting to tempt himself anymore than he already has. He wants to flee the bed, even get out of the room in a hurry. But his body doesn’t feel ready for it, his head is pounding and he suspects that if he did move he might throw up.

Jared shifts again, moving away from Jensen and Jensen feels a cold draft over his body the moment it loses contact with Jared. 

“Jared?” he asks again.

Jared sighs before turning towards Jensen, looking him in the eyes, “Who is Tom?”

Jensen frowns at him, not understanding the question.

“You said his name before you woke up. Something like ‘fuck you, Tom’,” Jared explains.

“Tom’s my ex,” he says shifting uncomfortably.

Jared nods, “Is he the reason you came back home?” he asks softly fingers playing with the sheets

Jensen nods slowly. Jared has never really shown interest in Jensen’s life before he came to this town. And Jensen thought it was strangely heartening that he wanted to know now, wanted to know Jensen better. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell the tale to Jared, but he didn’t want to lie to him either. 

“Yeah, I made some wrong decisions while blinded by love.”

Jared smiles at him, “You…make a mistake…no way.”

Jensen smiles back, shifting a little closer to Jared, missing the other man’s body heat. 

“What do you call punching the mayor’s son at the Annual Police Charity Ball?” he asks wrapping his arms around Jared’s neck.

Jared wrinkles his nose, “Did he deserve it?”

“Yeah, he told me he was getting married to a girl after we’d been together for four years,” Jensen says, not feeling the usual stab in his heart that usually accompanied him telling this story.

“Wait, Tom was the mayor’s son?” Jared asks pulling away from him a bit.

Jensen slowly nods. He and Tom had been together for four years and Jensen actually thought they were going somewhere. At the end of their relationship they even had been talking about coming out together, even though Jensen was a bit reluctant at first. Just when Jensen thought he was ready to make the big step he was introduced to Tom’s fucking fiancé. He had lost it right then and there, and no one understood why he felt the need to punch Tom fucking Welling into a bloody pulp. No one had known about their relationship. 

At first Jensen had felt heartbroken and didn’t really care about his career, but when he finally got over Tom he realized the damage he’d done. That’s when Chris, his old childhood friend lent him a helping hand. And Jensen learned what real friends were. 

“Well, I should send him a thank you card. I mean, he’s the reason you’re in bailey, right?”

Jensen smiles softly; he guessed that was a good thing. Jensen is drifting back to sleep when Jared leaves the bed. Jensen stirs at that but Jared stops him.

“I’m going to make breakfast, be right back.” He says pushing Jensen back down in the bed.

Jensen smiles softly into his pillow as Jared walks down the stairs.

***

Jensen has to rush away after breakfast; he’d spent too much time sleeping off his hangover. Misha is already there when he gets to the station. The other man greets him by giving him a cup of coffee. 

“So they got DNA,” Misha says as Jensen takes a sip of his coffee, “It’s a male but he isn’t in the database. But at least we have something, right?”

Jensen nods, sitting down to read the file Misha left on his desk. It was the report of the latest crime scene. There is nothing in there that Jensen didn’t know already. Well, apart from the victim’s identity but it doesn’t look like he can make anything of that. 

“What do you think?” he asks Misha, setting down the file.

Misha sits down across from Jensen, “I think we shouldn’t be working on this right now. You’ve seen the crime scene, already collected the evidence yourself. You know that unless we get a suspect, we’ve got no lead.”

Jensen considers this, knows it’s true. But he doesn’t want to just sit around and do nothing. He just hopes that if he looks through the files often enough he might see something he’s missed before. 

“How can you not have a headache?” Misha asks after a while.

“How can you not concentrate on this case?” Jensen almost yells in frustration.

“Come on, Jensen, I’ve seen worse things back at the bureau. This guy is staying in this town, not killing any small children and not more than one corpse in a couple of weeks. This doesn’t really ruffle my feathers anymore. Besides, there are some good indications that the victims are criminals.” 

“All of them?” Jensen asks, flipping through his files, searching for a list of the victims.

“Well, the latest of them was in NCIC and I think that’s our pattern,” Misha says pulling the file away from Jensen

“What do you mean? The others weren’t in there, were they?” Jensen says, trying to reach for the file but Misha hold them away from him.

“No, but word on the streets is they were supposed to be. I asked around a bit, some of them were in the big league. Rumors are that all the places they hit are owned by criminals,” Misha says, putting his feet on the table and leaning back. 

Jensen sits back, processing everything Misha is telling him, “How do you know this?”

“Put some feelers out. FBI agents are actually good at something, you know.”

Jensen nods, “So, criminals are taking out the competition?” he questions.

Misha considers this, “They are cruel enough but it doesn’t look like it, the criminals aren’t pointing fingers yet,” he answers casually.

Jensen sighs, “Again, how the fuck do you know this? And why is this the first time I’ve heard about it?” 

“Wasn’t sure until this victim. And like I said, we’re helping. No need to get angry.” Misha says, holding his hands up. 

Jensen sighs, thinking about all this new information he doesn’t really know what to do with. He bends over his papers, slowly working out all the new information in his files, asking Misha all the questions he needs answered. Slowly getting everything organized, this was going to take all day. On the other hand Jensen feels better than he has in days, this case was slowly getting cracked open. 

***

When Jensen gets home he feels tired and about ready to drop dead from exhaustion. It was a really bad decision to go out drinking the night before. All he wants is to eat his dinner and go to bed. He stops in front of his door when he realizes that he was expecting Jared to be there with dinner. What if Jared was angry with him or upset about what had happened the night before? Sure, Jared had been okay this morning, made him breakfast. Made sure Jensen was out of his bed in time to make it to work. He also realizes that he didn’t ask anyone to guard Jared while he was away. He had grown to trust the man enough to leave him alone in his house.

It shows how much can change when you get to know someone better. 

Jensen opens the door with a tiny smile on his face. Jared is waiting in the kitchen for him, with dinner. Jensen feels his stomach churn with feelings he doesn’t want to name. 

“Hey, you’re home, “Jared says, smiling softly. 

Jensen nods, making his way to the table. He has the feeling they should talk about the previous night. But he didn’t want to ruin the good mood he was in. He was also happy that things between him and Jared weren’t awkward and he didn’t want to risk changing that. 

“Yeah,” he says instead, sitting down at the kitchen table to watch Jared cook.

Jared is rumbling around in the kitchen, humming softly. Jensen sits back, letting himself relax. They are both silent as Jared finishes dinner. Jensen doesn’t feel the urge to speak and enjoys the comfortable silence between Jared and him. Jared fills the plates before sitting down. 

“So how was your day?” Jared asks as he starts eating. 

Jensen smiles again, “Good,” he says not wanting to tell Jared about the break he had just yet.

“No hangover?”

Jensen scrunches up his nose. He did have a hangover, and he was overly tired because of last night. Jared smiles at him.

“We’re going to watch a movie tonight?” Jared asks, shifting a bit in his seat.

Jensen shrugs, he wanted to go to bed early today so he could go and see Chris tomorrow. But watching a movie wasn’t going to be tiring. Jared’s smile widens as he finishes his plate in a hurry.

***

Jensen wakes up next to Jared on the couch. He remembers watching ‘Bad Boys 2’ with the other man but apparently he fell asleep. Jared is breathing softly in his ear and Jensen lets himself enjoy the feeling of the other man pressed against his back. 

His phone rings just as he’s settling back to sleep. Jared stirs, almost throwing Jensen off the couch as Jensen reaches toward his phone. The only thing stopping him from falling is Jared’s arm around his waist. Jensen grins back at him before answering his phone.

“Ackles.”

“Jensen, are you coming in today?” Chris asks.

Jensen moves to sit up straight as Jared does the same. Jensen can’t help but look at the other man smiling softly. 

“Jensen?” Chris questions and Jensen shakes his head gathering his thoughts.

“Yeah I’m just grabbing a cup of coffee,” Jensen says.

Jared stands up, walking towards the kitchen, winking at Jensen. Jensen sits back, sighing; he was really growing to like that kid. 

“Anything new on the case?” Jensen asks, wanting to keep his mind off of Jared.

“Nah, but that I heard that FBI dude really helped you get along,” Chris says sounding smug.

“Yeah,” Jensen says, walking into the kitchen, seeing Jared making breakfast, “I have to go Chris. I’ll see you in about an hour.”

Jensen puts away his cell phone and sits down at the kitchen table waiting for Jared to finish his breakfast. It hits him how normal this routine has become for them. He watches Jared move around in the kitchen, realizing all too well that he’s playing with fire right now. He is falling in love with Jared, no matter how much he doesn’t want to. He’s lucky that Misha already ruled the other man out as a suspect so Jensen didn’t really have to worry about that. But it was a bad idea beginning something with a witness. 

“I have to go to the station,” Jensen says when Jared turns around.

Jared nods, “Do you have time for breakfast?” he asks while putting the food on the table.

Jensen slowly nods and Jared puts down a plate in front of Jensen. They eat in silence, with Jensen and Jared sneaking glances at each other. It should feel awkward but it doesn’t. Every time Jared catches Jensen looking at him, he smiles softly before looking down at his plate. Jensen almost feels like he is in high school again. But he also has to admit it feels kind of nice, especially knowing that Jared liked him. Actually told Jensen that he was in love with him.

He smiles all the way through breakfast. 

***

When he arrives at the station Chris is already there waiting for him. Jensen nods a hello to him before walking over to his own desk. Chris sits down on top of Jensen’s desk, playing with his pens. 

“What’s up?” Jensen asks after he organized his stuff on the desk and Chris starts to annoy him.

Chris just stares at him and shrugs, “I heard that you found DNA on one of your victims.”

Jensen nods, flipping through his file. Chris should already know this; he would if he read the file. 

“Did it get you anywhere?” Chris asks, sounding anxious. 

Jensen glares at him, “Did you even bother to read the file?” he asks.

Chris nods, “Yeah sure, I did, but I heard that FBI guy might have had another clue.”

 

Jensen nods, telling Chris about finding out all the victims were criminals. He also tells Chris they have nothing when it comes to the DNA until they have a suspect.

“And Jared, has he said anything yet?”Chris says fiddling with the file in front of him.

Jensen shakes his head. He had forgotten that Jared was a witness. That the other guy knew more than he let on. Jensen had found it easy forgetting stuff like that with Jared. Sure, somewhere in his head he knows Jared is tied to the case, it’s the only reason he isn’t pursuing a relationship with the other man. But he hasn’t thought about interviewing Jared lately. Hell, he hasn’t even been trying to find out just how much Jared knows.

“Well, that’s something,” Jensen admits.

“What do you mean?” 

Jensen thinks a long time before telling Chris about the feelings he has been developing for Jared, finishing with, “It might have clouded my judgment when it comes to him,” it pained him to admit it. 

He had never in his life felt so unprofessional, so vulnerable; he knows technically that Chris can fire him for this. And Jensen doesn’t really know why he put his job on the line for something that hasn’t really happened yet. 

“Well, he is cleared as a suspect, isn’t he?” Chris asks raising both eyebrows.

Jensen nods slowly, wondering where Chris was going with this.

“Look, I’m not saying it’s alright but,” Chris shrugs, “if you’re willing to admit that he’s special enough to interfere with your work he must mean something to you.” 

Jensen looks at his friend in amazement; he never thought Chris would say something like that. Chris might be his friend but the other man was also his supervisor and Jensen had expected him to frown on the whole situation. Because honestly, he did. 

“Come on, Jensen, what did you expect me to say?” Chris asks, smirking at him.

Jensen shakes his head. He hadn’t planned on telling Chris anything about Jared. And even if he did he never expected Chris to react this way.

“That I’m stupid? That I shouldn’t risk my career for this?”

Chris shifts, looking Jensen in the eyes, “You’re not risking your career. You plan on waiting till the case is closed. I don’t see a problem here.”

Jensen scowls before dismissing Chris and starting to read the file that was left on his desk. Chris sighs before walking away. 

***

When Jensen gets home Jared isn’t there. Jensen firsts thinks the other man might be in his bedroom, he even berated himself for expecting Jared to be waiting for him. But after he had walked though the house and still hadn’t found Jared he starts to panic. 

Of course Jared would leave now. Of course he would first gain Jensen’s trust so that Jensen had no trouble leaving him alone anymore. Jensen didn’t even think of sending a guard for Jared anymore and that only proved how stupid he had become. He was right when he told Chris this stupid crush thing was seriously fucking with him. 

“Jared?” he yells one more time. 

When he gets no answer again Jensen sits down on the couch with his head in his hands. He was so stupid. He sighs, picking up his phone when he hears his front door open and close. When he looks up Jared comes walking into the room with two bags in his hands and a frown on his face. Jensen feels relief flood through his body, feeling ridiculous for his little panic attack just now.

“Jensen?” Jared questions, seeing Jensen sitting on the couch like a lost, little boy.

Jensen jumps up from the couch, taking the bags out of Jared’s hands and walking towards the kitchen. 

“Jensen, what’s wrong?” Jared asks, following him. 

Jensen puts the bags on the counter, turning around. He had been so worried about Jared, and instead of feeling relieved Jensen was angry. How could Jared just walk out of the door like it was nothing? Didn’t he realize that there was still a lot of danger out there?

“You think you can just go to the store like that?” Jensen didn’t mean to start yelling but he was just so angry. 

His therapist or the one they made him see after he’d beat up Tom told him he had anger management issues. And he guessed it was true, considering how angry he was now. Even when he knew it was irrational. Jared was looking at him like a kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“We were out of stuff. And I wanted to make dinner. I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” he says, shifting his feet nervously.

Jensen lets out a slow breath, “Okay,” he says, “but Jared, it’s still dangerous for you. There are still guys out there to kill you.”

Jared moves to the counter and starts putting away the groceries, gesturing that Jensen should sit down. Jensen almost feels like a lab dog doing exactly what Jared asks from him but if he stays standing he’ll never be able to relax and let go of the nervous energy that has been building. 

“I’m sorry, Jensen, but seriously, they haven’t tried anything yet.”

“Jared, they tried to shoot you!”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared says, turning around after he’d put everything away, “but I mean after that they didn’t try anything.”

Jensen sighs, “You were the one scared to talk about who they were only two months ago.”

Jared turns around again and starts making dinner. Jensen knows he won this argument. He also understood Jared on some level; the guy was cooped up in this place. Couldn’t go anywhere without Jensen. It had to be hard on him. 

“Have I been living here for over two months already?” Jared questions.

Jensen considers this, “More than three, actually,” he states matter of factly.

“Huh? I never took so long courting someone,” Jared remarks and Jensen almost falls out of his chair with shock. 

“Jared, I told you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you don’t want me.”

Jensen sighs. “No, that’s not it,” he confesses and Jared spins around so that they can look at each other’s faces, “I think we should.” He stops when he sees Jared’s face.

The other man is looking at him with this hopeful expression on his face. And Jensen considers for one moment if this is a smart idea. Surely Jared must suspect Jensen has feelings for him but Jensen confessing them to him might make things complicated.

“Jay, we should wait until this is over,” he says, despite his doubts.

“You mean the case,” Jared says, frowning.

Jensen nods slowly, feeling relieved now that this is out in the open. Jared just turns around again, continuing to make dinner. Jensen sits back contentedly, waiting for Jared to be done. 

***

Jensen is in the kitchen, eating the sandwich Jared made him when Misha calls. Jensen looks at the phone, almost dreading to pick up. He knew it had been too quiet the last few days. Even things with Jared are okay now. Of course something would happen with the case. He is just lucky that he’s alone right now; Jared’s gone off to visit his mother with Chris. 

“Yeah.”

“Jensen, I’ve got a great lead,” Misha says, sounding rushed, like he was in a hurry to go somewhere. 

Jensen is out of the kitchen and on his way to the car before Misha can finish his sentence. His heart is beating a thousand miles a minute.

“Where are you?” he questions Misha.

“I got a lead from another FBI agent, can you meet me somewhere?” 

Jensen, of course, says yes and Misha rattles off an address before telling Jensen to be quiet when he gets there. 

Jensen drives as fast as he can without his siren. He arrives before Misha and he contemplates going in without the other man. He looks around the empty warehouse. He snorts. How cliché was this? There was one other car standing in the parking lot, so there couldn’t be a lot of people in there. Jensen slowly draws his gun, moving towards the building. 

He moves into the building with as little noise as possible. There are two loud voices and Jensen moves towards the sound, freezing when he realizes that he recognizes one of them. He hides behind a couple of boxes, looking at the two men who are standing there arguing, heart racing and emotions fighting for control over his body. 

“You were supposed to leave him! Distract him! Not help him with the case,” Chris is shouting and Jensen swallows thickly, Chris knew. Chris encouraged his little crush on Jared. Jensen had wondered why Chris didn’t get angry with him when he told him about his feelings for Jared. 

He looks over the box to see Jared standing there, facing Chris with angry eyes, “Dude, this was your idea! I didn’t want to live with the guy but you ordered me! It’s not like I had a choice. You’re just his type, Jared, you said. You’ll be able to distract him, you said. Well, turns out he is a better cop than we thought!”

Jensen swallows. Was this all part of the plan? Did they mean for him to fall in love with Jared? And Chris, the one guy Jensen always trusted completely was involved in this? No, it could not be. Jared and Chris would never do this to him. But still here they were discussing how to deal with the fact that Jensen was closing in on the case. Oh God, he should have connected the dots much earlier, but he was distracted. Thank God Chris and Jared didn’t actually notice how well their plan had worked.

“No, I knew he was a good cop,” Chris says and Jensen can hear the barely contained anger in his voice, “That’s why I sent you to him. God! Now I probably have to kill my best friend.”

Jensen feels anger spike, then fear. There was no way anyone was going to believe him if he brought this out now, he needed more evidence. He was going to be dead by the time he gets a chance to round up this case. 

“Do you have to?” Jared asks in a tiny voice.

Jensen almost suspects that they know he is there, Jared sounds almost sad. But Jensen knows better now, it had all been a plan. Jared never loved him. 

“Yeah,” Chris mumbles, “He is a good cop, Jay - he is never going to let us get away with this.”

“Let you get away with this, I’m just a pawn in your game. Remember, Chris, I never actually committed a crime.”

Jensen heard Chris huff angrily, “Oh yeah, how about helping me, huh? That is a pretty big crime.”

Jensen sneaks back out of the warehouse, swallowing the lump in his throat. He’d lost his best friend and the love of his life in one afternoon. Fuck, he had nowhere to go. He couldn’t go back to LA, the cop who had a nervous breakdown, no one would believe him. God, Chris had him between a rock and a hard place. But they were right, not telling wasn’t an option for him. He believed in the justice system, believed that the judges knew what they were doing. If he didn’t he would fall apart, or become just like Chris. Misha would believe him, Jensen knows that for sure. He just isn’t sure if he wants to tell the FBI agent. Chris would get the death penalty for sure. 

When Jensen gets back to his car Misha is waiting there for him with his arms crossed in front of his chest. They stand there, looking at each other until Misha decides they’ve stood there long enough.

“You’re going to wait until they come out?” he asks calmly.

Jensen flinches, Misha knew who was in there. This was going to end badly. Jensen just knew it. But how did Misha know who was in there? And how long had he known what was going on. Hell, what was going on?

“You know?” Jensen asks, barely managing not to shout. 

“Yeah, I figured it all out this morning. I was just waiting for them to get together so I could prove it to you.” Misha says casually.

Jensen wants to hit the calmness out of the other man. How could Misha just stand there after the discovery they’d just made? Of course Misha wasn’t emotionally involved with this case.

“They’ve been working together, cleaning out this town. Crime has never been this low,” Misha says sounding serious.

Jensen looks back at the warehouse, thinking about what he had heard Chris and Jared say. Chris had brought Jared in to distract him. Chris, who thought Jensen was a good enough detective to discover who had committed these crimes. Chris, who was now planning on killing Jensen. And was probably convincing Jared to help him. Not that it mattered. Jared probably didn’t even like Jensen. He only pretended that he did so that Jensen would concentrate on that instead of the case. And the worst part was that it had worked.

“So? Is back-up on their way?” Jensen asks, looking around, expecting police cars to arrive any minute.

Misha starts to shake his head when they see a police car coming their way. Steve gets out of the car the moment it’s parked. 

“What’s going on?” he asks with a frown on his face.

Jensen is quick to explain the situation. When Jensen is finished Steve has his gun out, ready to go inside.

“So it’s just the two of them?” Steve questions and when Misha nods he says, “There’s three of us, we’ve got the element of surprise. Let’s go in.”

Jensen can’t fight that logic, even if he wants to. Deep down inside he doesn’t want to face this reality, doesn’t want to face that his best friend is a killer. Or that Jared, the man he had a crush on was his accomplice. But Misha also has his gun out now and Jensen has no choice but to follow the two men. 

They enter the warehouse, guns out, ready to face the two men who are inside. Jensen’s heart is racing. He has been in situations like this before but he never had to bring down someone he knew, let alone a friend.

They catch the two other men by surprise, holding them at gunpoint.

“Jensen,” Jared gasps the moment he sees the other man. 

Jensen freezes just one moment at the look of guilt on Jared’s face. He still can’t imagine that the guy who he shared a house with is a killer. Or at least involved with some of the killings. And Chris, one of his best friends turns out to be an insane lunatic. 

Jared looks like he maybe wants to say something, that he might want to explain. But before anyone can say anything Chris has his gun out, pointing it at Misha. 

“Come on, Chris,” Jensen almost begs, “You really think you have a chance here?”

Chris smirks, taking the safety of his gun, “Yes.”

“You see,” Steve says, pressing his gun against the back of Jensen’s head, “He has a clear advantage here.”

Jensen sees Jared’s eyes widen as he feels the gun press tighter against his skull. Jensen swallows thickly, unable to comprehend what is happening right now.

“You really think you’re getting away with this?” Misha questions.

“Yeah, I do,” Chris says gesturing with his gun that both of them should sit down and put their gun away. 

“Why?” Jensen asks in a small voice, needing to see some logic. Needing to know that his friend isn’t just crazy but that he has a good reason for this. 

Chris flinches, “Remember my little sister, Jen? Lindsay? You never wondered why she wasn’t in town?”

Jensen has actually, but he assumed that the girl had gone off to college. That Chris didn’t talk about it because he wasn’t happy with his kid sister leaving town. He never asked about her, afraid to cross a boundary. 

“She is in a mental hospital, Jen. She was gang raped,” Chris says, matter of fact.

Jensen feels a shock run through him. He imagines the small blond girl that always accompanied Chris whenever he came to visit Jensen in LA. That was until three years ago. 

“And they got away with it, Jen ‘cause Lindsay couldn’t testify. Lack of evidence. Fucking justice system.” Chris says, pacing around now, “but I got them, Jen. I did. All of them,” Chris says, waving his gun around, “All of them. They just stood by as my sister broke down. See,” he says, pointing the gun at Jensen, “The lawyer was the worst - he defended them. Got them out of jail.”

Jensen watches as Jared reaches out to comfort the other man. Jensen doesn’t really know what his part was in all of this but he was relieved to hear Chris’s motive. Even if it was a really sad one, now Jensen kind of understood why Chris killed all of them. 

“They suffered, just like she did. They all suffered.”

Jensen frowns, “But there was nothing about the victims, no files,” he asks, looking around. There had to be a file from the court case somewhere. 

Chris smirks, “But there was, Misha found them. Didn’t you Misha? That’s when he came to suspect me.”

Misha nods slowly, “You’re not getting away with this, Kane.”

“Oh, but I will. You should have seen her, Jensen. Blood in her hair, on her face. Clothes torn in all the wrong places,” Chris’s eyes glaze over as he tells the story, shaking his head slowly like he wants to make it untrue. ..

And Jensen feels his pain, he really does. But he can see that his friend has lost part of his sanity. That Chris needs help if he ever wants to be sane again. Jensen can only hope he gets out of here alive so he can make sure that Chris gets that help.

He looks around as Chris is telling him the story, seeing that while there are three of them only two have a gun. Jared is sitting in the back, seemingly not wanting to meddle. The other man refuses to look at Jensen, shame covering his features and Jensen refuses to think about what it might mean. 

He looks at Misha who, even though he put away his gun still has it within reach. Jensen thinks they might have a chance, with Chris distracted and Steve actually the only one who has them at gunpoint. His eyes meet Misha’s, seeing the other man has the same idea. 

They both reach for their guns at the same time and while Jensen is fast enough to point his gun at Chris he hears a loud bang before Misha can do the same. When he looks he sees Misha lying on the floor, blood blooming on his stomach as Steve looks down at him. 

Steve looks shocked, blue eyes wide and unfocused, “I didn’t mean to. He was going to shoot me.”

“Fuck!” Chris says, ignoring Jensen, “Fuck! We have to go.” He says, raising his gun.

“Sorry, Jen, can’t leave witnesses,” he says, finger on the trigger.

Jensen closes his eyes, steadying himself for the full body blow he knows is coming. Only it doesn’t. He hears a yell then a bang and he’s on the ground before he’s processed what has happened. He hears footsteps and men running out of the building. His head aches from where he hit the ground and he know he’s losing consciousness.

“Jensen?” he hears Jared say and he feels hands on his face, “Please, Jensen. Don’t leave, I’m sorry. Please, Jensen.” 

***

 

Jensen wakes up in a hospital bed, his head fuzzy. It takes him a moment to remember why he is here and when he does he almost sits up. There are delicate hands holding him down; when he looks he sees a petite nurse standing next to his bed. 

“Did I get shot?” Jensen asks her.

She smiles shaking her head, “No, you fell, from what I understood, hit your head. Got a nice concussion out of it.”

Jensen remembers hearing one last shot. Wonders why it didn’t hit him. And if it didn’t hit him then who did it hit? Did Chris manage to escape with Steve and Jared? And did Misha survive getting shot? 

“Misha?”he asks.

“I can’t tell you much. FBI is here to talk to you.”

Before the girl is done talking a big man with a beard comes walking into the room. Jensen frowns at the other man, not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Okay, maybe he wanted to find out if Misha was okay and what happened with Jared, Chris and Steve after he’d passed out. But he was sure that he wasn’t going to be of any help with the case right now.

“Hello, Detective Ackles,” the man says, “My name is Jim Beaver. I’m agent Collins’ supervisor.”

Jensen nods, wanting to ask a thousand questions but it is obvious the other man doesn’t want to be interrupted.

“Collins already gave me a full report. But I want your take on things before I close the case.”

“Close the case?” Jensen questions.

“Yes, Kane and Carlson are arrested. The DA is figuring out what to do with them. I personally think that after some therapy they both might be okay again. Mr. Padalecki is in a coma, he’ll get away with a slap on the wrist, I imagine. And Collins will be back on duty when he recovers.”

Jensen wonders in what world Jared could get away with a slap on the wrist for what he did. Jensen knew that obstruction of justice was considered a crime.

“Excuse me, Mr. Beaver?”

“Call me Jim.” The gruff looking man says, smiling a little and Jensen thinks it might be to reassure him, but honestly it just scares him. 

“Why does Jared get away with a slap on the wrist?” 

“Are you kidding me? The man saved you and Collins. Besides, he was the one who called for backup, which is the only reason why Kane and Carlson are in custody as we speak.”

Jensen shakes his head, trying to clear it. He couldn’t have heard right. Jared called for backup? That can’t be! He betrayed Jensen, was dishonest from the start.

“I-what? How?” Jensen asks trying to sit up.

Jim put a hand on his chest, preventing him from moving, “Well, it’s still a bit unclear what his involvement was. Collins told me he was a witness. We suspect Kane used him to get to you. We suspect Mr. Padalecki had no idea what was really going on. Unless you think otherwise?” he questions, looking at Jensen sternly.

Jensen takes a few breaths, “You’ve read my reports.” He says, like that answers the question.

Jim shakes his head and mumbles something about Jensen needing to clear his mind before continuing this conversation. Jensen couldn’t agree more. He needed to process everything Jim told him then he needed to ask Misha what he had told his boss. It seemed obvious that it wasn’t the whole truth and Jensen wanted to know why. Why did Misha protect Jared? And Jensen needed to figure out why he felt the need to do the same. 

***

It doesn’t take long before Jensen gets his answers. Misha comes by his room later that day, explaining everything to Jensen.

From what Jensen understood from the other man Jared was shot, defending Jensen. Before he was shot, however, he managed to text Agent Murray. Even Misha was surprised that Jared even had Murray’s phone number. But apparently Murray suspected something fishy after the shooting and gave Jared his phone number ‘just in case.’

It was confusing for Jensen and he wanted nothing more than to talk to Jared. But he was still angry with him for what he had done. He still felt betrayed and hurt. Jared had been leading him on so that he could distract Jensen from what was happening right under his nose. On the other hand the man risked his life for Jensen. He could have easily run with Chris and Steve. He could have let them shoot Jensen - it would have been his ‘get out of jail free’ card. Instead, Jared risked his life and his freedom for Jensen. 

When he’d asked the nurse if he could sit with Jared she had walked him to Jared’s room. Jared looked so fragile in the bed, beeping machines surrounding him. He was breathing steadily, chest moving up and down with each breath.

Jensen had heard from Misha that he’d been shot in the chest which punctured his aorta. He’d been clinically dead for a couple of minutes.  
In retrospect Jared was lucky he’d already alerted someone that they were there. The police arrived seconds after Jared had been shot, the ambulance hot on their tail. It was the only reason Jared was still alive.

All these things kept going through Jensen’s mind as he sat in Jared’s room, looking at the other man. 

***

When Jensen finally leaves the hospital he’s brought in for an interview by Jim Beaver. The other man doesn’t have a lot of questions but does need Jensen’s signature for his statement. Chris and Steve are going to trial and Jim warns him that he might get called to the stand. 

He also visits Misha a couple of times. He and the other man seemed to have developed some kind of friendship. Jensen had started to really trust the other man after everything that had happened. Misha was the one who made sure that Chris wasn’t on Death Row right now, but in a mental hospital. He was also the one who prevented Jared being arrested. Although Jensen still wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“I just miss Chris sometimes, you know?” he asks Misha when they both leave the police station.

Misha just hums as he opens the car door, “You know they want to make you Sergeant, replace Chris. After you’ve recovered, that is.

Jensen isn’t surprised, not really; he pretty much solved the case with Misha. Plus he had made it clear that he didn’t mind working with the FBI after Jim suggested that they might keep a close eye on the town.

***

“Hello Jensen,” Mrs. Padalecki says when she sees Jensen. 

Jensen started visiting Jared’s mother when it became clear Jared wasn’t going to wake up soon. They still kept him in a coma to recover. The first time he had visited the hospital was to question the staff and Jared’s mother about the weekly visits Jared and Chris both had. But Jensen felt connected to the woman, almost like he felt connected to Jared. And it felt nice to talk to Mrs. Padalecki, it made him feel closer to Jared. Besides he had nothing better to do, since he was still on medical leave. 

Mrs. Padalecki was quite a lovely woman if she took her meds. Jensen first only talked to the staff when he visited, until one nurse suggested that Mrs. Padalecki was feeling lonely because Jared wasn’t visiting anymore. Jensen felt bad about that; Jared was in the hospital because he took a bullet for Jensen. 

He saw another side of Jared just by talking to Mrs. Padalecki. The woman told him how good Jared was at taking care of her. Also that Jared was working his ass off to pay for her treatments; Jensen had taken over now that Jared wasn’t able to provide. 

“Hi, Mrs. Padalecki.”

“Oh, please call me Sherri. How you are, Jensen?”

“I’m good, thank you, Sherri,” Jensen says, taking a seat. 

Jensen learned never to ask her how she was doing. She would get upset when she had to think about the question. So he just avoided it, he’d ask the nurse later.

“And how’s my boy?”

He hadn’t exactly told Sherri the truth. He told her Jared had to get away for a little while and that he’d asked Jensen to watch out for her. 

“He’s doing well,” Jensen says with a big smile on his face.

The doctors said they were slowly taking him off the medication that kept him in a coma. They were hoping that he would wake up within a week. 

“He’s got a big crush on you, you know?” Sherri says.

Jensen swallows thickly; she had told him this before. He already knew Jared wanted to seduce him, but that wouldn’t explain him talking to his mother about Jensen. And if he had to believe Sherri, Jared was head over heels in love with Jensen. 

“Yeah, the boy talks about you all the time. Like you’re his big hero. You really can do no wrong,” Sherri says, smiling softly at Jensen, “Of course he doesn’t want me to know. He’s really protective of me, you know.”

Jensen nods, he does know. It was one of the most confusing things about Jared. Jensen just couldn’t figure out how Jared could seem like such a bad guy and yet be so sweet. 

“I don’t know about that,” Jensen says, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Sherri shakes her head, “You’d be good for him,” she says, touching Jensen’s hand softly, “Help him find his way.”

Jensen stares at Sherri’s hand on top of his own. He feels guilty for wanting that. For wanting to be the one for whom Jared changes. He wants Jared to start making the right choices because of him. He doesn’t know if it is because talking to Sherri changed his outlook or if he felt that way from the beginning. But Jensen is slowly beginning to realize that Jared might not be the only one who is head over heels in love. The only problem is Jensen has no idea how this is going to work. 

Jensen nods before clearing his throat and saying that he needs to leave. He talks to the nurse about how Sherri is doing before leaving to go to the hospital. 

***

Jared waking up wasn’t what Jensen expected. Jensen expected the doctors to inject Jared with something and Jared to groggily wake up. But it actually took Jared a couple of days. And when he did he was confused at first, not really able to talk. It takes a couple of days before Jared can stay awake for more than a few minutes before drifting off again. 

Jensen does talk to him before that, hoping that Jared will hear and won’t be too confused when he can think clearly again. Jensen has a bit of a smile on his face when he tells Sherri that Jared will be back soon. Sherri hugs him. 

“What are you doing here?” are the first words out of Jared’s mouth when he is finally awake enough to talk. 

Jensen shifts in his chair, feeling uncomfortable. He is aware that while he had time to think everything over, and even though Jared did betray him, he also saved his life. Jensen had forgiven Jared for what he did. Figured that Jared was probably sorry for what he did. But that wasn’t the reason he stayed and waited for Jared to wake up. 

No, he stayed so he could ask Jared why he did what he did. 

“Waiting for you to wake up,” he answers.

Jared blinks his eyes like he is expecting Jensen to disappear. When he realizes Jensen isn’t going anywhere he starts fidgeting nervously. 

“Are you here to arrest me?” he asks in a tiny voice.

“Nope,” Jensen says, smiling a little.

Jared looks like he is thinking really hard about something before scrunching up his face. Jensen can’t help but think it looks adorable, he feels himself flush from the thought alone. 

“What happened?”

“How much do you remember?”Jensen questions.

“Chris and me fighting. You finding us,” Jared says, after thinking about it for a long time, “Oh God, Jensen, I’m so sorry! Chris said you’d never find out if I just distracted you. The guys who destroyed Lindsay would get what they deserved if I just helped him. I’m so sorry. I wanted to stop the moment I got to know you better. When I started falling… But Chris said I couldn’t. I was his accomplice, and that you would never date a criminal like me, if you ever found out. I didn’t want to lose you, what we could be.” Jared rushes out the words so fast it takes Jensen awhile to process them. 

“I…” Jensen starts to say, “You saved my life, Jared. Took a bullet for me. You were in a coma for almost a month,” Jensen states the facts, afraid of telling Jared how it all makes him feel.

Jared shifts in his bed or rather he tries and grimaces in pain when he flexes his arm. And Jensen is out of the chair before he can really think about it.

“I don’t think you should move too much, Jared,” he says, brushing his hand over Jared’s chest, not wanting to put too much pressure on it. 

“Don’t be such a baby, Jensen, everything is fine with me.”

“You did not just say that,” Jensen says, stepping away from the bed furiously, “You’ve been in a coma, Jared! You almost died! How do you think your mother would feel about that?”

Jared pales at the mention of his mother and Jensen feels bad for saying that without explaining to Jared that she was okay. Jensen had learned from his visits to the mental hospital that Jared and his mother had a special bond. Despite everything that happened, Jared loved and took care of his mother. It was clear to Jensen this woman was his world.

He doesn’t wait for Jared to calm down before he starts talking, “Your mom is fine, she thinks you went on a little trip. I visited her because you couldn’t, but she can’t wait to see you again.”

Jared relaxes again when Jensen says this and the other man gives him a little smile.

“You’ve been visiting my mom?”

Jensen blushes, “Yeah, well, someone had to.”

***

Jared isn’t allowed to leave for another couple of months. And even though Jensen is back at work he still visits Jared almost every day. It has become a habit; it was less boring and worrying now that Jared was awake to complain about the mundane details of his day.

“I know I was in pretty much the same situation at your house, but this is worse,” Jared complains for the millionth time in the past month he’s been awake, “They won’t even let me move around.”

Jensen smiles at Jared, giving him the magazines he bought the day before. The other man seemed like a small child. When Jensen is seated in his usual place next to Jared’s bed he starts talking. He tells Jared about his day and about his work. He was still getting used to his new position and he was still missing Chris most days. He informs Jared about Chris’s trial. Chris confessed. He hasn’t asked Jared why he helped Chris yet. He is curious, of course, but he knows Jared isn’t ready to talk about it yet. 

“So tell me, how is my mother?” Jared asks.

Jensen smiles, “You talk to her every day, Jared.”

They have this discussion once a week. Every Saturday Jensen would visit Jared’s mother. It has become a habit, also Jensen liked the woman. 

“It’s nice to hear from someone who’s seen her,” Jared protests, like he does every single time they have this little discussion. 

“She was fine, the nurse said she had a good day. She misses your visits though.”

Jared makes a face; Jensen knows how much the other man hates being bound to his bed. And how much of a mamma’s boy Jared was and that the other man missed his mother. They sit in silence for a while when Jensen decides it is time for them to talk seriously.

“You know you got lucky, right? You should be in jail right now,” Jensen says.

Jared shakes his head, “I know I was stupid but I would have never killed with Chris. Hell, I didn’t even know what he was really doing until I moved in with you,” he explains.

“Then why did you help him?”

“Lindsay was my mother’s nurse and my friend. Those people deserved everything Chris did to them.”

Jensen jumps up from his chair in frustration, waving his arms in the air. “Come on, Jared. You can’t actually think what Chris did was the best way to react to that?” he asks.

Jensen huffs out his frustration, he wants Jared to understand. He wants Jared to be on the same page as him. He wants Jared to agree.

“My mom tried to kill herself.” Jared says softly and Jensen whips around to look at him. 

“That’s…,” Jensen starts to say but Jared interrupts him. 

“She was so upset that Lindsay wasn’t coming back. She said the others did it. That the demons came back to take away the people she loved. She told me she’d rather die than watch me die.”

Jensen sits back in his chair, feeling a lump form in his throat. He actually understands what Jared is trying to say. Jensen has learned that his mom was the only thing Jared really had and he understood that he would do anything for the woman. Also Jensen might not have done the same but he could see how it had happened. Chris was a police officer and Jared had trusted the man to make everything alright.

“It wasn’t like I expected Chris to make everything better. But I thought I would make my mom proud by making sure the people who hurt Lindsay paid. And also that I was working together with a policeman! When I realized what was really going on it was too late.” Jared looks sad and Jensen moves to hold his hand in an offer of comfort.

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” Jared adds in a whisper, looking away from Jensen.

Jensen stands up, placing his hand on Jared’s chin to get the other man look at him. There is a sadness in Jared eyes that Jensen wants to take away. He wants to tell Jared he understands and that he’s long forgiven the other man. Before he realizes what he’s doing, his lips are on Jared’s in a soft and gentle kiss. So different from the kisses they had shared before. It is sweet and Jensen feels a tingle go from his lips to his toes. He softly strokes Jared’s jaw as his lips move softly against Jared’s. He reluctantly lets himself fall back onto his chair, looking at Jared with soft eyes.

“Jensen,” Jared questions, his hand moving to touch his lips. 

They sit there, looking at each other in silence and Jensen waits for the shame. He expects to feel guilty for kissing Jared like he normally does. Jared wets his lips and Jensen eyes are drawn to the movement. Jensen realizes that all the reasons he had for not giving in to his feelings for Jared had disappeared. Sure, there were still some issues, but Jensen finds himself not caring as much as he did before. 

“I like you,” he blurts out, because he doesn’t know how else to tell Jared.

Jared looks at him, a smile growing on his lips, “And all I had to do is almost die.”

“Okay, clearly too soon to joke about that,” Jared says, shifting in the bed when Jensen scowls at him.

Jensen nods, looking down at his hands.

“I think we should eat dinner together when you leave the hospital,” Jensen says after a while in uncomfortable silence.

“Yeah,” Jared says softly.

***

They don’t actually go on a date when Jared leaves the hospital. They don’t see each other for almost four months after Jared leaves the hospital. At first Jensen is heartbroken. But then he talks to the therapist his boss makes him see and comes to terms with their separation. 

The therapist told him that it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Jensen had to learn to deal with what happened with Chris. And their relationship would have been built on a traumatic event which is not the best way to start out. 

But when Jared had called him two days ago and asked him to meet him for a drink Jensen’s heart still skipped a beat. 

Jensen fiddles with the coffee cup he just finished. Jared told Jensen to meet him here.

When Jared arrives a moment later Jensen has to do a double take. The other man looked good, nothing like the man Jensen last saw in the hospital.

“Hey, Jensen,” Jared says, smiling softly before sitting down, across from Jensen, “Thank you for meeting me.”

“What?” Jensen asks, unbelieving. 

Jensen doesn’t know what he expected when Jared called, but he never expected the man to be this formal. He thought that Jared might beg for his forgiveness, and ask to date him again. Okay, maybe it was more like he dreamed about that. 

“I…” Jared starts but Jensen interrupts.

“No, really, Jay? I tell you I like you and that I want to date you and you disappear for months! And then you call me for coffee and you act like this. Like maybe this is a job interview. Well, fuck you.”

Before Jensen can stand up and storm out, Jared grabs his hand.

“I didn’t know if you’d still want me,” Jared confesses.

“Fuck you, Jay,” Jensen says again but remains seated, wanting to hear what Jared has to say, despite everything.

“No, Jensen, listen,” Jared says, his grip tightening on Jensen’s hand, “I wanted to be worthy of you.” He says in a rush.

Jensen pulls his hand away from the other man, looking at him in amazement. Jared wanted to be worthy of him? 

“I was a criminal when we met, Jensen. You’re a cop. I needed to get my life together before I could even think about dating you. I didn’t want to burden you with the mess that was me,” Jared says, fiddling with his hands.

“You wanted to get your life together?” Jensen questions.

“Yeah, I got a job at the local bar as a bouncer. The owner said I’d spent so much time punching people I might as well do it for money,” Jared shrugs, “After that it was easy, really. With a little help from Chad anyway.”

Jensen swallows, “So you’re ready now. To date someone?”

Jared shakes his head, taking Jensen’s hand again, “To date you.” 

Jensen is out of his chair before he knows what he’s doing and in Jared’s lap. He feels like it makes him a girl but he wants to make sure Jared doesn’t get away this time. His hands find Jared’s hands, pulling him down for the kiss he’s been dreaming about since the last time Jared kissed him. 

Jared gins, “Jensen Ackles, will you go out on a date with me?” he asks, shifting so that Jensen is more comfortable on his lap. 

Jensen smiles a bit at him. He knows he should probably think more about this. Should maybe consider how easily he might get his heart broken. But four month of intense therapy and missing Jared around his house made him more open minded. He knows there are many things that could go wrong. Jared could get back into his old habits; Jensen could get a bad rep for being with a former criminal. But Jared had spent time away from him to get his life together! To make sure he was worthy of being with Jensen! How could Jensen say no to that?

Jensen stands up, ignoring Jared’s pout, “Okay, you’re taking me out to dinner tonight. And you’re paying. Pick me up at seven, you know where I live!”


End file.
